Monday, April 5, 2010

When Keeping it "Real" Goes Wrong - Spring Edition...

Ok...this isn't going to be like the angry rant I wrote after the Haiti earthquake...this one is more a funny inspection of how people get ahead of themselves...

So, it's finally getting warm in's not summer yet, but the mercury is going up and hemlines & clothing are getting shorter, thinner & scarcer. I'll admit, the warm weather does get to your head, making you want to bare all and enjoy it...but please make sure you're ready for it before you decide to "let it all hang out". I've seen a number of offenders over the past few days and I just had to comment and call attention to these fashion don'ts.

1. 60 degree weather doesn't equal traipsing around NYC in a t-shirt and shorts - with no jacket in sight:
I get it, it's beautiful out, and since you don't have to wear a parka, you want the whole world to know how happy you are that it's no longer arctic outside. But get's Spring...the weather is still fluctuating. So, you in a tank and shorts today means you'll be sneezing near me on the train getting other people sick because of your poor decision making skills.

2. Being so ashy that you could start a fire or be nicknamed "Ashy Larry":
If you don't know what ashy means then you need to check out Chapelle's Show. For those of us who do know...the fact is ash is no respecter of gender or race. Men, your skin gets dry - and fair skinned peeps...yes we can see the crust of ash on your heels...please...get thee to a Bath & Body Works. The point is you need to always be on point, dry skin is never in season. -_-

3. Feet that look like claws:
You knew when you put those flip-flops on that your feet were absolutely not ready to be shown off to the world - and yet you did it anyway. Shame on you. In the past week and a half, I've seen toes & heels that have seen better days. In a city like NY where there's at least 5 nail shops on every block, there is no excuse for this infraction. Maybe you can't afford a $50 mani-pedi at Bliss...or maybe you don't even want to get a cheapie mani-pedi at the local spot near your house. But the cost of buying a pumice stone, a cheap bottle of nail polish, a pair of nail clippers & cuticle nippers to do an at home pedicure shouldn't prevent you from getting your tootsies ready to hang out.

4. Wearing things that aren't complimentary to your shape:
Now that it's warmer out, there's no oversized coat to hide your dont's. Regardless of whether or not you choose to work out to stay in shape or not, don't let yourself be a Glamour black bar victim. Look in the mirror before you leave the house - if you pause or pull at the hem (or the waistline of your pants) it's a sign that you shouldn't be wearing whatever it is that you put on. And that's a dose of advise for people of all shapes and sizes. Fashion roadkill - much like ashy skin - is no respecter of gender or size.

Now go forth & enjoy the warm weather!

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