Dorian's World

Sticks & Stones Can Break My Bones...

2011-05-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

...but words can never hurt me.

No...this wasn't going to be a quote from a Rhianna song - sorry to disappoint!

So, the other day, a rather nasty little blog "article" was posted on a junk science site that was claiming to have scientific proof that a particular gender within a particular ethnic group was "scientifically" proven to be considered less attractive than all the other same genders of other ethnic groups in the world. No, I'm not posting the link, because I know junk when I see it. And a scientific article claiming proof with no references to the actual study conducted, the population group queried and so forth is by no means a true scientific article, but an article meant to flame, ignite and piss people off - and all for 15 seconds of fame. The fact that it was created by someone who has a PhD and is also employed by an internationally respected university is equally unfathomable.

Plus, I know when someone's shining me on - so to speak. What scientist posts a "serious article" but fails to provide citable references?! That's rule one of writing any paper whether you're a scientist or a historian. Otherwise, I can go write a paper in the scientific community about how teddy bears are proven to weigh more than the earth...because I polled myself and I thought it sounded "cuddly" enough to believe. This article was nothing more than a grab for attention to probably fund a more ridiculous study to find even more ridiculous results. But I digress, the purpose of this post is the reactions that a lot of people had to the article and the reflection it shows on society at large.

So, on the blog that posted a link to the junk science site (out of outrage - not support) way too many people were replying with comments along the line of "my feelings were really hurt", "I cried when I read this", "this really ruined my day", and "now I'm really depressed". Trust me, I get it! The article was an overdone disrespectful rag that should never have been printed. I found it ridiculous, ignorant and all the negative adjectives that I can think to use to describe it. But ruining my day? Making me cry? Making me depressed? That would make me the EPIC FAIL - even though the author is an EPIC FAIL too.

I guess maybe I already got kicked through the school of hard knocks, but I learned a long time ago to not base my self worth on what others thought of me, but on what I believed myself to be. Seriously, kids can be mean, and I definitely got my share of being told that I wasn't pretty, etc etc. But true confidence and self assuredness comes from within - not from other people telling you what you are. In my opinion, if you're always looking for someone else to confirm that you're pretty, or smart, or whatever - then you're really doing yourself a disservice.

Eventually, in everyone's life, there comes a time where you won't be in agreement with the majority. It could be your viewpoints, it could be because you look different (which was definitely the case with me >_<) or maybe your financial situation in life changes (either up or down) and now you're different from what people consider to be the norm. Not everyone is going to always agree with you or support your choices. So, what are you going to do?! Cry about it? Throw your hands up in frustration and run back to the bed, pull the covers up and call it a day/life?

No. Words and opinions are just that, words and opinions. Only you can give them power by believing them, repeating them to yourself and thereby allowing them to affect your day. And then in that case, said author was right...you are an idiot and less than ideal, because you believed a fool half way around the world rather than the reality that you knew to be the truth. Maybe I sound harsh, maybe I really did get my ass kicked one too many times (metaphorically speaking) when I was growing up - but I don't wait for other people to define me. I define myself and have no problem emitting the vibe that "this is me, you don't have to like or agree with it, but you do have to respect it". And much like the post I wrote the other week when a commenter mentioned that she purposely filters herself for fear of peer reactions...the reactions to this article equally boggled my mind.

Seriously, I really don't understand how grown people can have their whole day and perspective on life altered by some moron's undocumented comments. "It's not what they call you, it's what you answer to." If you respond with depression, tears and the like to someone calling you ugly, then that means deep down, you kind of agreed with them...and now you're just hurt that someone peeled back the ridiculously thin layer of confidence that you had and exposed your fears to the world.

Which brings me to my final point...society is hypocritical at best and the reactions to this article just highlight that even more. We as a society at large (not just the gender and ethnic group that was singled out in the article) need to do better when it comes to instilling confidence, self awareness and self assuredness in our young people. At least here in the States, we run all these PSA's telling people to be themselves and not cave to peer pressure as it relates to drugs, alcohol and sex. Yet we push homogeny as hard as we can on a conscious and sub conscious level when it comes to being an active member of society, making friends and "fitting in" via media outlets (TV, magazines, music, etc).

You can't have it both ways! You can't say "think for yourself when someone tries to offer you a narcotic, alcoholic beverage or a roll in the hay" but then say "don't stand out too much so that you can make friends and fit in" on the other hand. It's a contradictory message, and if grown people are falling prey to it, how much harder would it be for youth to overcome that struggle?! In short, our general society has a lot of growing and mental reprogramming to do if we're going to eradicate ignorant views while simultaneously instilling confidence in our community.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

2011-05-18T02:03:00.000-04:00

Is a good book...and a quick read!

But actually I felt like I was reading the literary version of Family Guy or How I Met Your Mother. You know what I mean...where the storyline randomly spirals off on a tangent that sort of has nothing to do "technically" with the main plot.

So, I had actually watched the movie many many years ago and for some reason, got into a convo about the movie with my boyfriend last week. On a whim when I was in the bookstore (which is often) I bought it (along with The Girl Who Played With Fire...I know I know, I said I wasn't sure if I was going to read it but I got an insider tip that I should...so I bought it). It literally took me two days to read it because it's hilarious and a fast read.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is actually the first in a series of books by Douglas Adams. And it shows, since the first book literally ends abruptly. Will I read the rest? I seriously doubt it. As much as I found it hilarious, it's like "stream of consciousness" on steroids...in writing. However, I might read them when taking long transcontinental or international flights. :) Seriously, after 6 hours...it doesn't matter what cabin class you take...I'm over it & just want to get back on the ground!

Shea Butter Baby!

2011-05-15T21:11:00.000-04:00

So, I'm late with this post, because I've been using shea butter for about two weeks now...but wow this stuff is the hotness. And I'm not talking about some sweetly scented concoction that you get from The Beauty Shop or Bath & Body Works. I'm talking about the 100% organic...looks like a weird mass of yellow stuff in the generic tub that you have to mix with something else in order to make it into a useful daily hair moisturizer shea butter.

So, a couple of weeks ago (maybe a month at this point) I ordered a one pound tub (calm down that's really not a lot!) of unrefined raw organic Shea butter from eBay. The joke was on me because I paid for shipping for no reason. After buying it online, I went to my local BSS of choice on 32nd street and saw it there for the same price. So, I could have bought it for $8 instead of $15 (to factor in shipping). Anyway...this stuff is awesome.

Once I created my own concoction by adding Aloe Vera gel, Amla Oil, Almond Oil and a bit of EVOO...it turned into an awesome creamy mixture. And literally I only used less than 1/4th of the shea butter and was able to create enough mixture to fill a separate 1lb container like the one it originally came in. There are a ton of youtube vids on making your own shea butter, and it's fairly simple to do!

With this stuff, a little goes a long way. Unlike the other moisturizers that I had been using where it always felt like I wasn't using enough...I can use a tiny bit, emulsify it (rub it between your hands to turn it into a colorless oil) and it really conditions and adds sheen! I was highly surprised. I'm finally FINALLY getting the moisture that I really wanted...no more dry hair!

I Finally Finished Persuasion!

2011-05-14T03:15:00.000-04:00

And it only took me about a year to do it!

Normally I can finish a book within a week to two weeks. Meaning that, during whatever time I'm on the train heading into and out of Manhattan (about 45 minutes each way two to three times a week) I read and any random moments that I have that aren't devoted to work I also read. So, it's a little random when it takes me longer than 2 weeks to finish a book. Persuasion was one of those books.

The funny thing is, it was written by one of my favorite authors, Jane Austen (yes I really do enjoy Jane Austen). But for some reason, Anne, Elizabeth, Captain Wentworth, Mary & Mr. Elliot were just a tad bit dry in the first 50 pages, so I set the book aside. And literally a year later, I finally finished the book. It's a quick read - roughly 270 pages total. And once I finally convinced myself to finish the book, it got pretty juicy.

Is Persuasion a book that everyone will enjoy? Yes, if you love innocent romances - no if you prefer more obvious and less wordy fare. I liked it, but even I have to admit that it isn't exactly excitement from the jump.

Conformity at What Cost?

2011-05-06T15:36:00.000-04:00

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."- Dr. Seuss

So, I'm a huge fan of Curly Nikki - an awesome guide for all curly headed individuals (especially naturals). But Curly Nikki also interjects posts about staying healthy, positive body image and image perception. Today there was a post (which is clickable from my post's title) talking about how black women in particular are perceived through media - especially reality TV. Traditionally, black women are cast in the angry black woman role. You know her, she's the one doing the constant side eye, neck rolling, finger wagging (and/or snapping) and ready to "throw down" at the drop of a dime. In general - usually not a great way to be characterized.

Now, this is not a post about the ills of reality TV. In my opinion, almost no one, regardless of race, gender, age, ethnicity or socio-economic background will walk away with a positive perception from the general public if you're on a reality show. Reality TV is about extremes, and encouraging people to behave badly just for the all mighty Neilson rating score. My post is from reading a response of a young woman who said (and I'm paraphrasing) because of her fear of being perceived as having all the negative AA stereotypes, she basically lives her life trying to appeal to the masses. Meaning, she goes into stores and is nervous that someone is following her around - so she doesn't really bother to look through the racks unless she plans on buying something. If she's out with friends and someone laughs too loud she shushes them.

My heart goes out to this young woman because think about how much in life she might be ultimately missing out on because she's constantly concerned with how others will perceive her?!

So my question is: At what point is wanting to be liked or seeking approval interfering with your ability to be yourself? Or, more importantly, why are we focusing on what "everyone" thinks instead of the thoughts of the few who actually will have an impact.

My explanation is below:

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of people being loud and obnoxious just for the sake of it. Nothing irks me more than being stuck on the NYC subway just after the high schools let out - and being forced to hear students (typically minorities) shrieking and hollering at each other just for the sake of hearing their own voices. That to me is extreme ignorance. No, you don't need to whisper, but you don't need to let the entire train car hear your conversation either.

My point is, there's a point where you have to just "do you" and not spend all your time trying to earn approval from people who, for the most part, won't matter. In my opinion, there are two types of people in this world:

1. Those who have stereotypes and are unwilling to change them - even if confronted with proof that their beliefs are wrong.

and

2. Those who have stereotypes, but when confronted with proof that those beliefs are wrong, are willing to change or at least reconsider their original beliefs.

Everyone has biases or stereotypes. It's a fact of life, we're reared listening to our parents or relatives making statements which will ultimately shape how we view the world. And it isn't until we finally get to meet people through school that we either confirm or disprove the beliefs that we've been taught. On the flip side, as a minority, I definitely had my head filled with the "you have to always be perfect, always be the best, and always be ready to defend yourself (verbally - not physically)" because as a minority - and especially an AA - people would already assume the worst of me.

Have I met people who automatically assumed I was up to no good just because of my skin tone? Sure, but nine times out of ten, those people were never in a position to threaten my hopes, dreams or goals - so there was no need for me to stress myself trying to please them. Hence, the opening quote from Dr. Seuss - who's books are actually quite profound: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

All the people who I wasted time as a youngster worrying about whether or not they liked me (just as a person - not even talking about romantically), or if they thought I was pretty enough or worried about whether they thought I wasn't black enough (since apparently I spoke "like a white girl") are not effecting my career and personal goals today. Yet, all the people I deal with today which is literally an international patchwork quilt - don't give a rat's ass about my background but about my ability to perform and make good on the business claims that I make.

It's nothing for me to deal with people from the US, the UK, Israel, Saudi Arabia, India, Japan, China and Korea (and I'm talking about people actually from the region - not ex-pats) on literally a daily basis. And yes, these people all know that I'm a young African American woman. Never once has it prevented me from making strides professionally. But that's also the difference between the business world and the general public. In the business world, you could probably look like the frog prince (prior to getting his kiss) and people would gladly work with you if you have a strong pitch and positive success rate. And that's also the reason I don't waste my time worrying about what the guy/girl next to me on the subway thinks of me.

So, I made this uber long post to say: I don't believe in wasting time worrying about impressions that you might be creating on people who you don't even know or who will probably have no effect on your life. In my opinion, that's no way to live - and ultimately you'll end up missing out on life because you were creating a self imposed filter when it wasn't even necessary. Anyone who's going to think negatively of you just because you giggled a bit too loudly one day or dared to pull a dress off the rack to get a better look at it - aren't the kind of people that you want to be associating with anyway. I'm a big believer in people getting back what they put out. I walk in confidence, and I speak with a self-assuradness (some would say swagger). I put out a personality of "this is me - take me as I am or keep it moving". I'm positive, polite and respectful - but I will never act apologetic for being young, a woman or African American. And as a result, I almost never find myself dealing with someone who's too small minded to get past their personal opinions about me.

Random Musings...The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

2011-05-04T22:39:00.001-04:00

So, I finished reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo today and honestly, I'm on the fence about whether I want to read the sequel, The Girl Who Played With Fire. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was a very well written book, definitely kept me hooked and had very believable characters - but I'm not much for dark literature. I like a little mystery and intrigue - and even love a brush up with the wrong side of the law (i.e. fictional stories with mafia backdrops!) but serial killing, depraved behavior and stories that belong on Law & Order SVU aren't really my thing!

I won't get into the details of the plot, but suffice it to say, it takes murder mystery and who-done-it's to a whole new level of craziness. I took the twists and turns that author Stieg Larsson wanted the reader to take...but once it got to the nitty gritty - I was definitely an unwilling participant. But, I can tell why Larsson intended the book to be the beginning of a trilogy.

While all the other characters have traditional character arcs where the individual starts on level 1 and ultimately ends up growing as a person or learns more about themselves through the plot's struggles, the "girl" referenced in the title, Lisbeth Salander, is a character who has minimal growth and movement until the epilogue. At which point, her character which has been emotionally stunted from the jump (someone who's always getting emotionally, physically [and literally in some instances] burned by others whether it's government officials or colleagues), ends up being even more jaded after becoming disillusioned at love.

It almost forces me to believe that if I want to see Lisbeth Salander grow into a complete person rather than a relatively emotionless individual, I'm going to have to read The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest to see if Lisbeth every truly becomes emotionally whole. The question is if I felt invested enough in part one to take that ride through books two and three to see if Lisbeth Salander ever becomes whole...we shall see!

So...I Flatironed

2011-05-01T12:31:00.001-04:00

Yes...I did it! And what?

I ended up going out last night so I flatironed my hair. But I also rationalized that I wanted to do a length check and it's a little hard to check the length (at least for me) when my hair is in its curly state. So, I did chop off about 4 inches, but my hair is still pretty long. Previously it was mid bust length, now it's about 2 inches below my collar bone.

Although, I jazzed up my straight hair by putting in a few tracks of Kinky Straight which is truly a perfect match to my hair when flatironed (I love length, and I missed the fact that I could have replicated this look entirely on my own - length and all before I cut my hair) and added plaits on the left side...just to create some pop. In total it took me about an hour and a half to flatiron my hair, add in the KS tracks and do the three side plaits.

Will I rock it for long? I give it 'til Tuesday and then I'll probably wash it out. Until then, I'm going to attempt to keep this look without adding any more heat to it. But, the caveat is that I went dancing last night and definitely sweat up a storm. So, my roots are a bit puffy. Thankfully, KS can get that same puffy look too...so it all matches still! ^_^

Edit: I just noticed it but, if you look very closely at the roots on my bangs, you can see the henna hue. it's a very rich dark burgundy color. At first you think it's just the lighting (because this picture was taken with my iPhone4) but it's the actual henna deposit. Compared to the KS which is a jet black shade. The color contrast isn't noticeable in indoor light typically, but in the sun you would notice it.

To Flatiron or Not To Flatiron...

2011-04-30T13:33:00.000-04:00

That IS the question. So, most people who know me know that I change hairstyles like some people change cell phones. Meaning, I change them quite frequently, and it's the reason I'm a huge proponent of extensions and would never swear off of them. Hair is definitely an expression of self and I love to work with texture and color whenever I get the chance. Over the years I've been a blonde, redhead, dual colors, super kinky-curly, spanish wavy, wavy and straight. And I certainly would never have tried to do all of those processes to my real hair - I think if I had, I'd be happy to have 2 strands on my head.

So, when I decided to wear my hair out in it's "natural" texture, I also chose not to do any chemical coloring to it - which I'm definitely sticking to. I prefer to go with henna, the color effect I get from it is extremely subtle, and unlike with box color, I don't have to worry about over processing. Although, the general recommendation is to keep henna paste in your hair for about 3 hours, you could technically keep it in overnight, wash it out and still get the same effects without harming your hair. I'm a firm believer that if I want to experiment with color, I had better head to the BSS or my favorite CV (if you don't know the terminology...don't worry it won't apply to you!) because I'm absolutely not putting a chemical dye in my head.

Fast forward to today, (lol) and I'm super bored with my hair right now. It's just one of those days where I want to do something different with my hair - in fact I'm desperate to do something different to it! I've been doing twist outs for about a month and a half to two months now and it's cute and all...but literally it's the same style over and over again. I think part of it is because normally, I change my hairstyle up about every 3 months or so. And around the 2 month mark of whatever style I'm currently rocking, I'm already contemplating what to try next. I had planned on giving my hair a break (and myself a break from my hair) anyway in the next month or so by doing a shout out to my favorite Chinese vendor and going with a new do. Incidentally, I'm also going to do this because it'll help promote hair growth since my hair grows fastest when it's neatly braided up and undisturbed. Plus, now that I'm about to cut back on my henna routine by half (once a week instead of twice a week), I can leave my hair braided up for most of the week without having to deal with doing the do.

Until then however, I'm super tempted to flatiron my hair (just for today) and do some funky twists on the side a la these pics (taken in January/February of this year). Now, the reason I'm having a dilemma is that when I decided to wear my natural texture, I also promised myself that I would abstain from heat. That meant no flatirons and no blow dryers. Literally for the past 8 weeks or so, whenever I've washed my hair, I dutifully did my twist outs to set it while the hair was wet (which is also why I tend to wash my hair at night and not during the day) and then undid it in the morning to reveal awesome curls. I haven't used heat in two months...and it's not like I'm going through withdrawal or anything over it.

Plus, it's not like I don't practice safe heat when I heat style! I use a heat protectant when I flatiron, use the minimum amount of heat necessary to do the job, do it with a paddle brush to maximize stretch and never pass the flatiron over the same section of hair more than once. The funny thing is, when I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was considering flatironing my hair today, he actually seemed semi disappointed haha! He's used to me changing up my hairstyles all the time, but he really loves my hair in its "natural state" (although I have yet to embrace "wash 'n go's" as I believe I'll get screwed by frizz and shrinkage and the curl pattern towards my scalp is not nearly as well defined as it is in the last 4 to 6 inches of my ends). So, I think I will flatiron - pending whether or not I choose to go out tonight. ^_^

I'm So Behind on Henna Apps & Random Musings!

2011-04-25T23:07:00.001-04:00

Urghh seriously...the twice weekly henna app deal is getting SUPER old! Thankfully this is the last week for it! I completely skipped out on henna apps last week. Between putting out fires at work and dealing with the mine field that is television licensing, trying to prep for the Easter weekend and still decorating my newly-moved-into apartment, the last thing on my mind was to use two separate days spending nearly 5+ hours doing the "henna-do". Starting next week, I'm down to once a week henna apps! Woohoo! I seriously can't wait! ^_^

So, now I'm sitting here with a head full of henna and 1 more hour to go before I can rinse it out. I must say, as much as I complain about henna days, I would definitely recommend henna treatments for anyone who's looking for a one-stop-shop way of fixing their hair/head woes. Reasons I think henna is useful:

1. It helps to cure dry scalp. Prior to doing henna, I'd always had an issue with dry itchy scalp. I never had it so bad that I would have needed something like Selson Blue or Neutrogena T Gel...but let's just say, there wasn't enough oil or hair grease in the world to keep me from having to scratch my scalp. Fast forward to just two henna apps later, and my scalp has been itch and flake free since the beginning of March! ^_^

2. Less hair shedding. It used to be that whenever I would comb or brush my hair, I would have just a tad bit more than "normal shedding". Not enough to call it hair loss, but enough to feel noticeable. Now I have much less shedding and my hair feels stronger.

3. Thickening. My hair feels much thicker - although I always had thick hair - but it feels even thicker now!

Now for the random musings - although it's really not random, it's about hair; which has been my topic of choice for the past month or so on my blog. Ok so here goes:

So, now that I'm focusing on wearing my hair in its natural state, I'm more aware of this whole "natural vs. processed/relaxed/extensions" feud that's been going on for who knows how long. It's almost impossible to go on a natural hair blog or informational site without having to read through some (at times) very strongly worded posts that practically trash out anyone who considers using any kind of non-natural product to permanently or semi-permanently alter the structure of their hair. o_0

Now technically I'm officially riding the fence on this issue (I did attempt a texlax back in March which didn't take very well so I've since chosen to just work with my "natural texture") but I don't understand why people have to take things to such extremes. In my opinion, hair is a very personal issue - for all women not just African Americans. Although we do tend to get the most visibility in the media for our hair choices, I challenge you to find a woman from any race, ethnicity, etc. who doesn't have some form of hair envy, hang up about her hair, or who does something to their hair to make it slightly different than the way nature intended for her to have.

And although I'm not personally interested in attempting to relax/texlax/texturize or even color my hair with unnatural chemicals anymore, I certainly wouldn't sit in judgement of someone else who chose to use those methods. Everyone has to do what works for them, and their lifestyles. To be honest, I don't think I would have had the time to do twice weekly henna treatments, spend 45 minutes to do twist outs every other night or some of the other things if I was still working a traditional 9 to 5. Where would I have fit it in between getting up at 7am, getting home at 7pm and still trying to have a semblance of "time off" after the work day?

I also have to add that as much as I enjoy this natural progression, even I get tired of hearing naturals "wax poetic" about how simple, easy, quick and "non-challenging" it is to be natural. Please stop telling this lie! Having done both (being relaxed and going natural) I can definitely say that there are pros and cons to both. In fact, every hair style option has its own pros and cons, so it's unrealistic to claim that one is inherently better or easier than the other.

Someone Pour a Shot for My Old Ends...I Trimmed!

2011-04-08T02:22:00.000-04:00

*Bloop bloop bloop*...what's that sound? That's the sound of me pouring a shot of some kind of liquor in memory of the 4inches that I trimmed off between Wednesday and Thursday of this week! I couldn't take it anymore. I had awesome S curls going on until you got to the last 4 inches of hair...then it was like my hair just gave up and ended up looking thin and not curly...no matter how much I twisted and applied product. Currently, when stretched my hair is between my shoulders and upper bust (like literally in the middle between those two markers) and when curly hits just at the shoulders.

I've also decided that my goal for the next year (April 2012) is to grow 12 inches worth of hair. This is a totally doable goal, since in my hardcore extension days, I can easily grow 2 or more inches of new growth in about 3 months. So, now that I'm on a strict Megatek and Nioxin kick...I'm hoping to make that about 4+ inches in every 3 month period. In reality, 12" of new growth will really only look 8-10" depending on how tightly curled I want my hair to be. So, I'll keep you guys posted, my 4th henna app will be either tomorrow or Sunday, depending on how I'm feeling! ^_^

Henna App #3 Revisted

2011-04-05T23:34:00.001-04:00

Okay,

So earlier today I put up a post regarding my third henna app - which by the way I finally did! It was my second time using Jamila but this time I added more green tea and a bit of honey. The application process was way better than last time when I didn't add enough liquid to the henna powder when making the paste. This time I also wore gloves while rinsing it out - because I'm tired of getting orange tinted finger nails (so not hot -_-).

My hair has an even deeper burgundy tint to it (which is an awesome side effect but not the goal of my henna regimen) and I am actually starting to see some release of the curl pattern near the roots (which was something that I really wanted in addition to the softening and moisturizing effects of henna). My next app is going to probably on Friday.

As promised, I have some pics regarding the henna, my twist outs and the other style I mentioned in the earlier post (the one that fell flat a few hours later :-/):

Jamila henna in my designated
henna container!

Henna paste after the dye release (this is Jamila henna). I do a quick henna paste method by using warm green tea to help the dye release. I also add a little bit of pure lemon juice, honey, amla oil, almond oil, and pure almond oil extract (that's for the smell - I LOVE scent of pure almond oil). You can henna instantly if you use heated water versus using just lemon juice alone - which requires that you let the henna sit for at least 3 hours to fully release the dye.

Twist out & curler method
I saw on CurlyNikki.com

And this is the twist and curl method that I attempted over the weekend. It was cute, but unlike my usual twist outs that last for three days, this one barely made it through the afternoon. Kind of a fail...but maybe I'll try it again later with different holding products. I'm really trying to focus on using as many natural or non-alcohol containing products as possible.

Update:

I forgot to add, this is the Megatek I'm always referring to! You can buy it on Amazon for about $30 a bottle. You can use it as much or as little as possible...it's up to you!

My 3rd Henna App is Today!

2011-04-05T12:55:00.001-04:00

So, obviously it's not Friday. I got so lazy last week and had no interest in doing a henna app this past weekend. I love henna, but it is a tad bit time consuming...I've gone to fast tracking my henna paste by using hot green tea as the dye release activator - which also removes the 3 hours of waiting for the dye to release. But it's still time consuming - applying takes about 20 - 30 minutes. Then there's the minimum of three hours to let it work in the hair, followed by an hour of rinsing and 45 minutes of twisting my hair up.

I like the henna results, but the process is a bit much. I've decided that I'm only doing twice weekly henna apps for April, and then starting in May I'm backing it down to once a week. Originally I had thought I would do twice a week apps for April and May...haha how naive I was! June will be two apps for the entire month and by July, I'll only be doing henna once a month. Again, it's not the cost, because for $3.99 a box, it's definitely worth it. But a henna day means I can't leave the house and I have to work conference calls and work around the henna rather than the other way around. o_0

A few people have asked me how I learned about henna so I'm giving credit where credit's due! I'm not a magical know it all who just randomly got the idea to henna. I strongly suggest that someone thinking of taking a dip in the henna pool checks out the following resources:

www.hennaforhair.com (seriously a treasure trove of info and a place where you can buy henna if there are not BAQ henna suppliers in your area)
www.curlynikki.com (awesome for African Americans looking for information on maintaining natural or very curly hair. Curly Nikki also talks about henna quite a bit as she's a serious henna head!)
www.blackhairmedia.com (I used to be seriously addicted to this site when I was wearing my extensions more regularly however they have hair care forums that cover everything from natural to texturized to weaves to full lace wigs. If you're an African American woman - or even just someone who wants to learn about hair in general - I highly recommend this site.)
Youtube! (seriously...if you want step by step directions, this is the spot. There are a lot of vloggers on there who will show you how to make henna, apply it, and different styling options for people with natural hair. All you have to do is search!)

So, I'll try to update this post or just make a new one later with updates on my hair (pictures). I took a couple over the weekend, since my hair was looking super cute - I tried a new twist/setting option. It looked really cute but didn't last after a few hours (womp womp) so I won't be making it my go style...but for "once in a while", it's a good alternative!

To Trim or Not to Trim...That is The Question

2011-03-30T22:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry Shakespeare for hijacking one of your more famous quotes...but it had to be done.

So, let's do an update on the hair journey. This week I switched from Mehendi to Jamila henna - HUGE DIFFERENCE. Jamila henna was a lot smoother in terms of mixing and putting into my hair. Although I don't think I added enough liquid since during the application it was chunking up and sounding like hard bricks hitting the counter. o_0 However, the wash out was still an issue. I definitely still have henna in my hair and am considering doing a shampoo tomorrow to remove it (although at this point I might as well wait til Sunday since Friday is my next scheduled henna app). Also, the color I'm getting from the Jamila is absolutely gorgeous! It's a nice tint of burgundy which in the sunlight is amazing. I think this is actually because the Mehendi gave me a sandy brown tint and then the Jamila had a lot truer shade of red, so it ended up depositing as a darker stain on top of the Mehendi. Hopefully, I'll start to see these softening "baby doll" results after henna app #3 on Friday.

I tried a new twisting method last night which gave me much more consistent results. Normally, I do between 12 to 13 two-strand twists all over doing it in the french braid style (gathering up hair as you go instead of two full twists all the way down). I do four in the bottom back, two in the middle back and anywhere from five to seven for the remaining hair depending on how committed I'm feeling. Typically I was creating the twists starting from the front hairline and working my way to the crown/mid ear area. Well normally the middle back had the best volume and the front twists ended up being a variety of sizes for the individual strands (I know, I need to post pics but I get lazy!). So, last night I decided to part the front section down the middle of my scalp and do three twists going vertically on each side of my head. MUCH BETTER. The waves were a lot more uniform in size so...go me!

So, I definitely mentioned it before that I still had some old relaxed ends from my hardcore relaxer days...about 6 to 8 inches. I was checking out my hair this afternoon and the majority of my hair looks super thick and healthy - with the exception of about 4 inches of old relaxed ends. It just looks thin and tends to frizz. I'm definitely debating doing a trim...or in this case a cut; since IMO cutting off anything over an inch is beyond the "trim zone". I'm 75% leaning towards doing it since it just looks super thin and detracts from the thickness. We'll see what happens after henna app #3 later this week. Although, I'm 90% sure that even with the softening/thickening results...the ends are still going to look busted. So, more than likely, I'll be trimming/cutting over the weekend. This means my 14/15 inch length hair (around the top of my bust area) will now be 10/11 inches. But I'd rather have healthy hair than length that looks scraggly!

Still on my Nioxin and Megatek (I'll take a pic of Megatek later) kick - although I haven't megateked this week. Normally I only MT immediately after I wash my hair (so about 2x a week) but this week I've been distracted and I only washed my hair on Monday when I did my 2nd henna app. Hopefully I'll remember to do it on Friday! Nioxin is a daily multi-vitamin supplement, reviews state that people actually manage to grow about an inch of hair a month versus the average half inch. I definitely think that it's working. Although I can't tell directly in my hair, my nails are growing super fast - and Nioxin is meant to aid nail/hair growth as well as help to keep your skin supple. I've only been using Nioxin for about a week and a half (right after St. Patrick's day) and already I've had to trim my nails twice - which is a good sign IMO. I keep my nails short since I do a lot of typing and don't have the patience for long nails.

Will definitely keep you guys posted with my results! ^_^

Another Dip Into Henna Land

2011-03-28T21:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, so last Thursday I did my first henna application - and as many other reviewers had mentioned, the first time you henna, it's not really anything to write home about. On my first day post henna, my hair was a tad dry - but I expected that based on all the research that I had done about it.

Hesh Mehindi & 2 oils I add to my henna
paste: Amla & Almond Oils

Last time, I used Hesh Mehendi henna. After I fully rinsed the henna out, I could already tell that my hair was definitely lighter - even in indoor light. It was the one side effect I wasn't expecting to have instant effects. The goal with my henna treatments is to achieve stronger, thicker, softer and more moisture rich hair - in addition to loosening my curl pattern without using harsh chemicals.

As an FYI, if you're considering doing the jump into the henna pool because of all of the benefits that I mentioned earlier, do make sure that you use only body art quality henna. Body art quality henna doesn't come in a variety of hues. if you want to make your hair lighter or darker, you have to alter it with other natural dyes like indigo, cassia, etc. So, if you go into a store and ask for henna, and they reply with "which color would you like"...walk right back out. That henna has been altered and contains just as many chemicals as regular hair dye. The point of henna is that the color (if you're solely using it for color) enhances the more you henna. But since it's all natural, there's no danger in over processing. The more you henna, the stronger a red hue that you'll achieve, depending on your starting color.

Now, back to me. Like I said, the first time I henna'd I had immediate color results. My hair had an interesting and notable brown hue to it, but that later mellowed out by Sunday (which is also to be expected). But my goal is thickness, curl loosening, moisture retention and softening of my hair. Finally today, I noticed that my hair was a lot moister! I usually twist my hair with a combo of Cantu's leave in shea moisturizer and a few drops of castor oil (per twist). Sometimes it came out pretty well moisturized, and sometimes it wasn't quite as successful. Well this morning, when I untwisted my hair, I could clearly see a nice sheen to my hair - something which was sometimes elusive for me!

Today, I switched it up and decided to henna my hair with Jamila. Now, to explain:

Last week I used the Mehendi, and although I think it does work well, it was super gritty. After doing some research, it seemed like the general consensus was that Mehendi was a good henna to use - if you didn't mind spending an hour washing the grit out of your hair. And seriously...that's probably the only thing I don't like about it. I first dunked my head in a tub full of water to get the majority of the visible henna paste out of my hair. Then I literally spent about 30 minutes in the shower doing a co-wash. After rinsing so long that I became prune-y and the water was running clear from my hair, I did my usual twist out.

Well, fast forward to every day that I twisted or combed my hair between Thursday and Sunday evening - and every time I touched my hair, henna flakes were coming out. o_0 REALLY GROSS! If I rubbed my scalp - henna flakes, if I twisted my hair - henna flakes (which also left henna flakes in my shea butter conditioner o_0 skeeve). Based on reviews, Mehendi doesn't sift their henna powder as finely as some of the other higher quality BAQ henna brands. So in addition to getting the ground down henna leaves (which is all henna powder is) you also get stems and any other random dirt particles that made it through the sifter.

So today, I made a henna paste using 3 boxes of Jamila henna. Instead of doing the regular "slow release" henna paste method (it takes about 10 minutes to mix but a minimum of 3 hours for the dye to release), I chose to use 2.5 cups of heated green tea to help make the dye release faster and let it sit for about 30 minutes. Already, I can say that the Jamila was less clumpy when I poured the powder into my designated "henna bowl". So, now I'm letting the henna sit on my hair and am about to rinse it out in 30 minutes. I'm definitely hoping that it rinses out easier than the Mehendi.

Will keep you posted!

My Forray Into Henna Land...and a BzzAgent Review

2011-03-24T19:47:00.000-04:00

Okay,

So, I posted last week that I had decided to try to wear my hair out curly and to also work to help grow out my hair better. As a recap, my hair in it's naturally curly state is shoulder length, but when stretched it reaches somewhere between just below my shoulder blades and my back bra strap. The goal for me is about increasing growth but also infusing moisture, stronger strands and thicker hair. Last week, I attempted a texlax (a mildly reduced relaxer) and the results weren't really all that great. I ended up with less tangling, but it did nothing to make the virgin portion of my hair mimic the curl pattern that was going on in the old relaxed ends of my hair...kind of a womp-womp. -_- I think the culprit was a too weak relaxer - I used Hawaiian Silky in mild and then cut it with olive oil as instructions dictated...clearly my hair needed something stronger than "mild"

I was tempted to retry the texlax after a couple of deep conditioning treatments, but thought better of it. Not that I'm against using relaxers, but I didn't want to burn my hair off! So, I went back to researching online and saw that a lot of people used henna as an alternative to chemical methods to loosen curls and infuse strength. Additionally, I noticed that a lot of people who were able to achieve strong, healthy and faster growing hair with vitamins. After even more research, I decided on the following:

Started taking Nioxin's "Intensive Therapy Recharging Complex" multi vitamins: online testimonials all stated that it takes at least a month of consistent use to see results, so I'm only a week in...I'll let you know how it goes in late April.

Twice weekly deep conditioning treatments using an olive oil hair cholesterol followed by Megatek (another follicle infuser and rebuilder). Megatek is actually a crossover product which was initially created to help horses grow stronger manes and tails, but also has been proven to work for humans as well. I'm actually a huge fan of Megatek - I've been using it for two years and a lot of the growth and strengthening of my edges is definitely because of Megatek.

And now, I'm doing a twice a week henna application. I use body art quality henna which is 100% pure Lawsome with no fillers or metallics included in it. Pure henna has been proven to strengthen hair, thicken the strands and soften hair - in addition to naturally dying the hair without damaging it. Typically those results take about 4 to 5 consecutive henna applications to see the results. What's awesome about it (based on the research and reviews I've done) is that it works cumulatively - so the more you henna, the better your hair will be. Henna's fairly cheap too..I bought 4 boxes at roughly $4 a box. But depending on where you are in the world, you can find 100% pure henna for as cheap as $2 a box. This also makes it a really affordable option for people interested in henna but afraid that it would be too expensive with the upkeep. Just note that depending on the length of your hair you might need more than one box. One box equals roughly 100g which is enough for short short hair. Considering that my hair is shoulder length in its natural state but below the shoulder blades when stretched (and that you're supposed to thickly coat your hair when applying the henna) I ended up needing to use 3 boxes.

Anyway the one thing I learned about henna is, results will vary based on your own hair's chemistry. For example, normally for African Americans who are using pure henna on non-chemically dyed hair, there are no noticeable color change results when indoors (in other words, you have to be outside to see the tint effects that are clearly visible on lighter hair). Soooo not true for me. My hair is definitely a lighter brown, and I had always thought that my hair was super close to being almost black - like a very dark off black...not so anymore. It's cool, I'm not upset, but color was the most unimportant aspect of henna for me. So, now I'm going to try to maintain this henna regimen of a twice a week application for at least two months and then begin to taper off to the point where I'm only henna'ing my hair once a month.

Now...for the BzzAgent Review:

I'm currently doing the SC Johnson Smart & Easy Spring Cleaning which is where I was given a bunch of cleaning products from Scrubbing Bubbles and Pledge in addition to fragrances from Glade. If you don't know BzzAgent is a company that offers consumers free products in exchange for spreading the word about how we felt the products actually worked. So, after doing my massive henna routine today, let's just say that the bathroom was a bit messy. Although I was able to contain a majority of the henna splash back when I rinsed it out, there was still a kind of gross ring in the tub and in the sink.

It was the perfect excuse for me to use the Scrubbing Bubbles Foaming Bath spray which is intended to keep the shower (or whatever surface you use it on) clean for up to 4 days. The concept is that as water washes over the surfaces, the "invisible barrier" is activated to keep the surface clean. And, I must admit, it was pretty easy to use. After trying to rinse as much of the henna off as I possibly could, I shook the can of Scrubbing Bubbles Foaming Bath Spray and then sprayed an even coating over the entire tub and on parts of the shower walls and the bathroom sink (which also took some battle damage from the henna). I waited the requested 3 minutes and then rinsed everything with water (thankfully we have a detachable shower head so a lot of this process became much easier). Now my tub and sink are spotless. So, would I buy Scrubbing Bubbles Foaming Bath Spray? Yes I would, I'm not the world's most amazing house keeper, so anything that keeps me from actually having to scrub the tub myself and/or give myself back pain in the process is a must have. ^_^

SC Johnson Smart and Easy Spring Cleaning

Things I've Learned Since Living In New York

2011-03-23T19:25:00.000-04:00

It's always great to be able to do a bit of reflection every now and again. And today, as I sat on the 2 train heading uptown to my home in the Bronx, I reflected on a few random nuggets of knowledge (some street smarts and others just random things) that I've learned since moving here. Technically speaking, I've been in the area since 2002 although I was commuting in from NJ (yes I know...so bridge & tunnel). But officially I moved into NYC in 2007. So, now that I'm entering my 4th year of NYC living, without further adieu, here are a few things that I've learned thanks to living in NYC:

1. New Yorkers aren't rude:

It's a common misconception the rest of the world is taught, that New Yorkers are inherently rude. No, we're (and yes, after almost 10 years in and around the city and 4 years of living here, I feel I can consider myself a New Yorker) not rude, we're just very direct. In a city that has a lot going on and very tough competition for every industry imaginable, attention spans, free time and availability are at a premium. Whether you're vying for a job interview or even a date, you need to get to the point and ASAP. Hemming, hawing and stumbling all over yourself will only get you ignored here!

2. Saying you're from New York = instant street credit worldwide

Seriously...the minute you say you're from New York (unless you clarify to say that you're from "Upstate" and not the 5 boroughs) people automatically consider you cooler by default. Whether you're talking to someone from the 50 states or someone in another country, New York = awesomeness.

**There is a caveat to this: Saying you're from NY can also backfire in the States. Being that I'm originally from Indiana, I do know that many other people in the rest of the country think that New Yorkers think that they're better than everyone else in the country. New Yorkers do have a tendency to act as if the part of the country between NYC and LA is barren with nothing in between. Hence, a lot of people in other states tend to find New Yorkers pretentious...use caution when repping NYC in the US...you'll usually get a mixed bag of responses.

3. When getting hit on by dudes, it's almost a 95% failsafe that saying you're from the Bronx will make them leave you alone.

This one needs a bit of explaining but generally is true and works whether I'm talking to someone from the 5 boroughs (except the Bx) or someone from another place:

First of all, for better or worse, the Bronx has a reputation for being a little "rough around the edges" from the 70s - 90s period where the Bronx had a lot of negative things going on (drugs, buildings being burned for insurance money & a general decline in NYC). So, even though today much of the Bronx is safe, there are still some very rough parts (Soundview, Edenwald, etc) and unfortunately the rough parts are what people remember.

Second, by default since the Bronx is considered rough, people who live there are often typecast as being equally rough. So, when you say "I'm from the Bronx" some guys might think a Bronx girl = crazy biotch. And the next thought might be: "If I break up with this chick she might pull a 'Waiting to Exhale' AND bring her crazy relatives to come get me too!" (Seriously, I've heard it happen so even though it's a crazy assumption - it isn't entirely unbelievable.)

Third, even for a New Yorker, the Bronx can be intimidating and/or unappealing if you're not from there. It's very common for people to only stick to their borough + Manhattan. So, if you're talking to someone from Brooklyn and you tell them you're from the Bronx, more than likely they'll think you live too far away - and they wouldn't be wrong. With the exception of my annual pilgrimage to Coney Island (the very end of Brooklyn on the very last stop on the D train) I don't venture into Brooklyn very often because it usually means a nearly 2 hour ride from my house (the NE Bronx practically kissing Westchester county near the end of the 2 train). I might like you, but I doubt I'll want to ride almost 2 hours in each direction to see you.

Saying you're from the Bronx works best when you find out where they're from first and when dealing with corn balls - especially in other countries. It's the perfect line every time I go to Tokyo and random guys (both Japanese and from the nearby US military base) try to hit on me at the clubs. For maximum effect, you need to say it with a straight/slightly bitchy face. If you say it but you're still smiling and giggling like a teenager then you're wasting your time.

Note: Saying you're from the Bronx to someone who's also from the Bronx has no effect unless you mention a particularly rough neighborhood and they happen to not be cool in that neighborhood. So, in this situation, you're assed out. Suck it up and find a way to evade him.

4. People rep their borough so don't disrespect their borough unless you really do want a fight.

Seriously, I've never lived somewhere where the borough someone lived in meant as much to them as a member of their family. With the exception of Staten Island (sorry but everyone I know who lives in SI says it slightly apologetically?!) everyone takes pride in their borough. And I must say, now that I live in NYC - and the Bronx in particular - I have to agree. I like my area, I love the fact that it has diversity and true character & personality. Never tell someone that their general hood is a hot mess unless you want to get into an argument - with Brooklyn people being the most likely to get bent out of shape. Nothing starts fights quicker than telling someone from Brooklyn that their borough sucks. o_0

5. If you can live & work in NYC, then you truly can make it anywhere...in the world.

It's a much overused cliche but it's so true. Coming from the Midwest and then forcing myself to get up to speed in New York was definitely a huge hurdle to overcome. NYC will definitely show you what you're made of, you'll learn to think on your feet or fail miserably. It's expensive as heck to live here, the competition for everything (jobs, living spaces, and relationships) is FIERCE, and you always have to come with your "A Game". So, if you can do it and still keep your sanity and manage to come out somewhat successful, then you deserve to gloat in that success.

Cue Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" and then transition into Jay Z's "Empire State of Mind". ^_^

The Battle of the Curl - Curly, Natural, Straight...Tired of Fighting It!

2011-03-15T23:54:00.000-04:00

A woman's hair is her crown...I don't know who said this but never have more truer words been spoken. There are more products on the market to make a woman's hair shinier, bouncy, change the color, lengthen, fluff, tease and do any other form of manipulation than any other product category that I can think of at the moment. And, in the African American community, never were truer words spoken. A lot of importance is put on hair - for a variety of reasons - many of which I'm not going to get into. I for one have never been one of those people who thought that there was a direct link between an AA woman's hair and the rise or fall of the strength of the AA community. So, if you thought that this was one of those posts, sorry to disappoint you. If my choosing to wear extensions or relaxed hair or natural hair keeps you from going to college then it's more a sign of your lack of focus than my choice in hair styles.

Anywho, it seems like my hair journey began when I was little. Pictures of me as an infant show me with these really awesome almost silky looking corkscrew curls (unfortunately I don't have any of those pics on hand - but take my word for it!). Fast forward to when I was 2 and the silky curls turned to the traditional afro puffs that most AA little girls rock until they're at least four or five. And then somewhere around there, my hair went from being somewhat manageable to being something of a nightmare for my mother to deal with in its natural state. My theory: my 1c/2c baby hair came into its own and turned into a 3c/4a even pushing 4b combo that was a bit more resilient to baby oil and a spritz of water.

So, then we transitioned into the relaxer years (although back then it was always just called a perm even though that was technically an incorrect term). The relaxer years took me from about the age of 5 up to my early twenties. I really didn't know much about my hair growing up except that I always remember it being referred to as the "not so easy hair to manage". It wasn't necessarily bad hair, but I definitely remember my mom saying that I inherited my Nana's (my great grandmother) coarse hair. The regimen was usually just relax it every 6 to 8 weeks and then press it straight. Braids were the normal fare in elementary school, followed by overnight roller sets in middle school and high school was a mix of roller sets and curling irons.

By high school, I was pretty well conditioned to believe that my hair was the kind that didn't do much growing, was the most difficult of AA textures to maintain and should never be seen without the world's strongest relaxer on it. I definitely bought into the theory - once college began I chose to get my hair braided rather than deal with my actual texture (on fear that I wouldn't find a good stylist in a decent radius of the school). College turned to post college and I had switched from micro braids to sew in extensions because they took much less time to install (3-4hrs vs 7-9hrs for braids!).

This is around the time that I also stopped relaxing my hair (circa 2004). In my opinion - if I wasn't wearing my hair out there was no real purpose for me to relax the hair - which honestly makes a ton of sense. Why create an extra step if you really don't have to right? This is also around the time that I would tell my stylist to go ahead and cut my hair if necessary to braid it down because I wasn't wearing it out anyway. Well, fast forward to about 2007 and I decided that I would try and grow my hair out and one day start wearing it on the regular again. What prompted this? Seeing all the length that I was gaining between sew ins. My hair had gone from barely just above shoulder length and being thin and scraggly to being in the shoulder blade area. And, it wasn't gross and stringy but was actually quite thick. At the time I still wasn't ready to wear it out, but I was interested in making the effort to grow it out.

Fast forward again to 2010 and during one of my take down processes (removing a sew-in for you hair novices out there) I realized that my hair was now reaching BSL (bra strap length - referring to the back bra strap)! Literally the longest my hair has ever been! And it was healthy, full - but really coarse (or so I thought). I still wasn't interested in going back to relaxers just because I had this concept that relaxers are inherently bad for you based on my experiences growing up. Thinking back I think it was more of a poor hair care routine, stress and probably not the world's greatest diet that had more to do with that than with the relaxer itself (although looking back, my mom's relaxer application methods are definitely not orthodox - putting relaxer on all hair, not just the new growth).

My hair flatironed Jan '11

Shift to January of this year and I decided to actually take my hair out for a test drive. So, while I was washing my hair, I realized that I had these awesome corkscrew curls throughout my hair. However, when it air dried, the top 6-8 inches of my hair experienced a ton of shrinkage because those inches were all virgin/unrelaxed hair. The bottom 6 - 8 inches maintained their cute corkscrew curls without the shrinkage issues because it was the old relaxed hair that had grown out. Technically, I guess, I'm only half natural. I'm not one of those people who felt like doing a big chop, nor am I one of those people who gets a high from telling people that they're "all natural" - seriously I have bigger concerns in my life than whether or not other people think my hair is really all mine/unaltered by chemicals etc. So, since I couldn't control the curl pattern on the virgin portion of my hair, I ended up straightening everything just to keep some uniformity and because I really wanted to get a look at the length that I had achieved.

Braid out & pinned back

The drawback of trying to wear your hair straight when you're natural is that any little bit of humidity would make the hair poof a bit at the roots - meaning I had to flatiron the hair again to achieve the straightness that would last longer on the relaxed ends. I didn't flatiron all the time, but even I knew that all the length I had achieved I was jeopardizing by flatironing my hair even on a weekly basis. So, for the past week or so, I've been considering alternative methods - and I only had a few options. I could attempt to really embrace my two textured hair (virgin vs. relaxed ends) - but considering that I'd been doing that for the past two and a half months with no luck, I wasn't really taking that option seriously. I could just go back to extensions, keep my hair braided down - problem solved, but not really what I wanted to do. Or, I could put in a texlax, an under processed relaxer that doesn't actually straighten the hair but loosens the curl pattern and somewhat alleviating the shrinkage issue.

Relaxed ends curl pattern

Well, after seeing the super cute curls on my older relaxed ends that I've spent lots of money on to recreate via extensions, and doing a ton of research I opted for the texlax. The reality is the Dorian today isn't the same Dorian who had no clue about proper hair maintenance, relaxer applications and the like. So, tomorrow I begin yet another phase of my hair life and enter the world of texlaxing. And before the natural heads come in and circle the wagons...I think being natural is awesome, but for me it was really an unrealistic option. My natural curl pattern is a mix of 3c and 4a. And it creates gorgeous curls when wet - but when it starts to dry, the curls tighten into something unrecognizable where I can't even comb the virgin hair without wetting it down first. That's just way too much work for me to put into having "natural" hair. I'm a busy chick, I run my own company, I'm always on the go. I DO NOT want to spend all day in front of the mirror - that's why I switched to extensions for so long!!

I'll try to actually document the hair journey via pictures when I remember to do so - I would say that I'd post videos - but I'm not quite that committed to the cause. Anywho, I'll try to keep this updated, but my ultimate goals are gorgeous curls and super healthy, strong and growing hair. :)

An Ode to My Pet Peeve - Improper Word Usage!

2011-02-19T12:38:00.000-05:00

Okay....

This is a short but sweet post. I've been trolling Daily Dawdle for the past hour and managed to come across this great little English grammar illustration. There are tons of words in the English language that act like a mine field...waiting for you to misuse them just so you can look a little ignorant in front of your friends, colleagues and family. So...many of my pet peeves of misused words are on this little drawing.

Enjoy and please share with as many people as possible! Little by little...we can get rid of the ridiculous amount of glaring usage errors that are happening across America! ^_^

My New Fave iPhone App - Words With Friends

2011-02-19T00:17:00.000-05:00

Okay...

This is by no means a "new to market" app...but I felt the need to discuss it! For the past month or so, I've been hooked on Words With Friends - a Scrabble-esque app that allows you to play an extended game of word generation with known or unknown opponents around the world. So, if you didn't know already, I'm a huge fan of the Milton-Bradley "Scrabble" game...but "Words With Friends" is Scrabble-x-10!

Instead of having to totally concentrate on the game for two to three hours at a time, I can play at my leisure. Literally every day I find myself checking in to see if my various opponents have created impossible to beat words. So far, I've beaten as many people as I've lost to...and in some cases I'm playing my actual friends in real life - which always makes things a bit more interesting!

**Note: I downloaded the "Words With Friends" free app...so I see ads everytime I make a move...but it's worth it to me. I think the "ad free" version retails for roughly $2.99. These are iTunes prices...so I can't vouch for the prices on the Android store!

A Relationship Question...at What Point is Money a Taboo?!

2011-01-27T01:27:00.000-05:00

Okay...so it's been a long time...I shouldn't have left you! (couldn't resist the Aaliyah song reference).

But in all seriousness, it has been farrrrrr too long, but I've been super busy. However, I'm back now with a relationship question and I'd love to get some feedback on it!

So, I was on a forum earlier tonight and a guy (we'll call him Mr. X) mentioned that he has a $20 spending cap for first dates. He doesn't feel like it's necessary to spend money, and first dates only consist of walks through parks, visiting museums (if free) and taking them to Subway for meals. Basically, he's been burned enough by gold diggers that he know forces all women to pass the first date test (although the spending limit extends well into the 3rd, 4th and 5th date). And to add to this, he hadn't met a girl yet who made him feel like she was worth breaking his $20 test formula. Errmmmm...yeah I know! Anyway this is the question:

Should first date spending caps be implemented? Should a woman be frowned upon for not accepting a cap as low as $20 for a first date? And is it possible that Mr. X has as much to do with the kind of woman he's attracting as much as the woman is responsible for her behavior on a date?

I preface this by saying, no woman should force a guy to pay top dollar just to prove a point. Ordering the lobster at market value, the best champaign just because, and dragging a man to the mall to take you shopping are all signs of gold diggery that are not acceptable. Gold diggers (much like bad boys) create bitter jaded men and make the rest of us struggle that much harder to break through a guy's outer shell to get to the warm fuzzy center. I'd also like to know in what city you can have a date for $20 that covers food and activities?!

But on the flip side, no one should create a test formula that's set up to make the respondent (date) fail. In my opinion, a $20 budget test is really a waste of time for both parties. Time is the one thing that none of us can get back. I think my time is pretty valuable, and I would hope that if I was single, the guy who asked me out would already know in advance if they wanted to spend any kind of one-on-one time with me before asking me out on a date. Walks in the park and free museum nights are great for an occasional break from the routine...but if every date is a trip to cheapskate world...let's just say it won't take long for a woman to pick up on it.

If you're spending all of your time focusing on a mental obstacle course (via the $20 cap) then you're not focusing on getting to know the person that you're dating. You're so focused on proving that a cliche (the gold digger) is true that you miss the opportunity to get to know what makes your date unique and interesting. Which segues into my next point...

Maybe you need to re-evaluate your criteria for asking a woman out on a date if you find yourself always dating gold diggers that force you to implement a budget test. Much like a woman who complains about dating "no good hood dudes" but only replies to the guy hanging on the corner...I feel like this guy is attracting and interacting primarily with women who are less than ideal. We're told that there's two sides to every story...so the blame can't rest entirely on the woman's shoulders!

But now you know my view...I'm definitely interested in hearing your take on the topic!

My New Favorite Book: "Don'ts for Husbands & Don'ts for Wives"

2010-08-31T21:26:00.000-04:00

Okay...here's another book for the blog! "Don'ts for Husbands & Don'ts for Wives" is a quick little read I picked up in the bargain section of Barnes & Nobles this afternoon for like $4.95. The book was originally written in 1913 by Blanche Ebbutt and was basically a guidebook to keep a new marriage a long lasting marriage. Some of the "advice" is somewhat outdated, but many of the principles can still be applied today. The book is written from the perspective of an era when people didn't live together before marriage, so for those of us in the post World War II world, the advice can seem like a "duh" moment. But if you look at it from the perspective of a new relationship or a "we're-just-moving-in-together" stage, Mrs. Ebbutt was spot on in her advice!

Some goodie goodies were:

Don'ts for Husbands:

"Don't tease your wife about every pretty girl you meet. She may not be jealous to begin with, but after a while she may begin to think that there is something in it"

"Don't dole out money for your wife's personal use in sixpences on the ground that, as you pay the bills, she can't really require any money. It is hateful to a woman to have to ask for what should be hers by right."

"Don't think your business worries are ever so much more important. The others are her business worries, and just as real to her as yours are to you."

Don'ts for Wives:

"Don't be talked down by your husband when you want to express your views on any subject. You have a right to be heard."

"Don't pose as a helpless creature who can do nothing for herself; don't drag your husband away from the office to see you across a street; don't profess to be unable to understand Bradshaw [no not Carrie Bradshaw!], or to take a journey alone. It is true that the weak, clinging wife is often a favourite, but she is equally often a nuisance."

"Don't wash your dirty linen in public, or even before your most intimate friends. If there are certain disagreeable matters to discuss, take care to discuss them in complete privacy."

Obviously, this book is written during a time when wives stayed home, so much of it is written from this perspective...but it still has some great knowledge to share with newlyweds or couples that have been living together for an extended period of time! It's a quick read - I finished it in under an hour...and it's so funny that you'll fly through the pages without any effort. I highly recommend it!

My K-Drama Obsession Continues - 나쁜 남자

2010-08-08T16:20:00.002-04:00

So...

Last week I finished watching my second K-Drama - 나쁜 남자/Nappeun Namja (Bad Guy/Bad Boy) and I must say, as hooked as this drama had me...it was a tad bit disappointing how the show ended. Once again, I chose a drama...but this one was much grittier than 검사 프린세스/Gomsa Princess (Prosecutor Princess) - which focused much more on fashion and the whimsical personality of the leading lady than on the (actually) very dark storyline that drove one of the other main character's actions.

Bad Guy is a 17 episode series that focused on the lead character Gun-Wook (center in the picture who I'll refer to as GW) who was cruelly ripped from what he thought was his "real" parents as a child and forced to assimilate into a new über rich family (the Hongs) as the accepted-yet-illegitamite son of the rich father (who also changes GW's name to Tae-Sung). Somehow, word gets out that he's not actually the illegitimate son, but just some random boy & poor GW is kicked out of the house and replaced by the "real" Tae-Sung (the other man in the pic above). Being overly dramatic as most dramas are around the world, poor GW's real parents rush to try to get him back only to die tragically in a car crash on the way, while (in the first episode no less) we watch GW shivering in the rain, sitting outside of the Hong residence with the few possessions he came with. So, fast forward to present day where adorable & cute little GW has turned into the hottie above, and we find a very determined & angry man who wants to get revenge on the Hong family for allowing their decadence to overshadow common sense/decency and ultimately forever negatively changing his life. Of course, his plan includes bringing down the family via ruining their family firm Haeshin, and creating impossible love triangles that pit two sisters against each other, while also mentally messing with the man who replaced him as Tae-Sung.

Okay, so with a quick plot teaser like that, you would think the show would have been awesome - and it did have great potential - but it definitely fell flat towards the ending episodes. We spent so much time watching GW push the Hong family like puppets, and even going to some really crazy lengths (i.e. one scene where he tries to drown the real Tae-Sung just to make him vulnerable enough to want to deal with GW in the future). And then, GW went from being cold and calculating to being this man who faltered from time to time. I understand that the producers wanted to make the main character still somewhat likable, but sometimes the route they took to get to the final conclusions was difficult to "suspend my disbelief" so that I could accept what I was watching. And often, there were characters with too much focus given to them that were either not really relevant to the total picture, or were not believable with their interactions with other characters.

For example, there are two female characters that (IMO) were vying for the lead female role...one of them was GW's older half sister, Tae-Ra (immediately right of GW in the pic above). Now, they're chemistry was awesome...he seduces her even though she's married and because she's in a loveless marriage, her desire for him is so believable and intriguing. Now, contrast that with the other leading female, Jae-In (to the left of GW in the pic) who literally was stuck with a role that really didn't make sense. She was in no way related to the Hong family, but at the same time she's very involved. It's hard to believe that in real life she would be able to take the overreaching actions that she does in this series. She's dating the real Tae-Sung, she works for the Hong family, and she is very friendly with GW. The producers kept trying to make her this possible GW love interest, but I don't think anyone was buying it. Their romantic exchanges were awkward and stiff, and by the time they finally admit that they have feelings for each other, it's the last episode and you already got the vibe that this wasn't going to be a happy ending like in Prosecutor Princess.

But, to be fair, some of the problems regarding the writing of 나쁜 남자 are because it was supposed to be a 20 episode series, but then was truncated to 17 because the actor who played lead character, GW, had to serve his mandatory 2 years in the military, and was unable to get yet another extension. Although, let's be real...with the plot holes this show had, even if they had those extra 3 episodes, I don't think they would have been able to neatly wrap the show.

So, I give this one a C, it had great potential, but too many minor characters really had roles that would effect the major characters, but weren't developed enough to make the drama more intriguing. The music was amazing, the characters were attractive, the scenes were shot perfectly (placement/staging/etc) and for the most part, the interactions were great. But poor writing/planning held the show back.

If you're interested in watching a K-Drama (regardless of whether you speak Korean or not), I definitely recommend checking out the super awesome blog, DramaBeans. If you're like me and are trying to learn Korean, they offer great episode recaps for all the major dramas that are currently (or have been in the past) airing - allowing you to confirm whether or not you really understood what was happening in the show. Also, they have links to other sites where you can watch the actual dramas - either with or without subtitles. If you're like me and don't want subtitles, I definitely recommend bada.us which has all the episodes for all types of Korean TV content ranging from music, to television, sports and news.

My New Favorite iPhone App: Expensify!

2010-08-01T21:10:00.000-04:00

So, it's been a while since I've written a "my favorite iPhone app" segment...but this one was enough to make me revisit this segment. Last week I was having drinks with a friend when he mentioned an app called "Expensify". This is a handy app that helps you keep track of all of your expenses. And, if you're like me, you can pretty much find a reason to expense almost anything!

So basically, it works like this:

Instead of having bags/boxes full of expenses, you can easily add an expense within the app. Take a picture of the receipt, and then enter in the correct information in the corresponding fields: Date, Amount, Merchant, Category (transportation, meals, lodging, mileage, etc.). Then you click "Add" and now you have the receipt logged into your account.

You can also link your credit or check card to your Expensify account so that it will automatically keep track of all your purchases. And, with all the receipts/expenses that you track, you can create detailed reports which can be exported to programs like Quickbooks. It's a super easy app and is free for iPhones! The app is also available for other phone platforms...but check the website, www.expensify.com for details!

My Love Affair With Black Shoes!

2010-08-01T20:33:00.000-04:00

I highly doubt that I'm the only woman in the world with an inordinate and disproportionate amount of black shoes (as compared to all the other colors I have). So, I posted this on my facebook page earlier this week, but I just got in two new pairs of shoes - both black heels!

How awesome are these? They're Vivian Westwoods...I know they're very "avante" but they have a super low heel, making them ideal for city walking haha! They come in a number of colors, but I decided to try to be somewhat realistic and get them in black with red heart appliques.

I'm in love with these shoes! They're so amazing! ^_^ I wore them out to an event the other week and got quite a few compliments on them!

Another view of the same shoe! Love them....'tis all for now!

Another Recipe! Spicy Shrimp Noodle Soup ^_^

2010-07-26T02:41:00.000-04:00

Yet another yummy recipe! This time, I got the recipe from an Asian cookbook I have, and then I modified it a bit. Oddly enough, I'm writing this while watching "Julie & Julia"...very inspiring. I'm actually tempted to try that beef stew recipe (actually with a French name for the recipe...but I didn't take French in school...so there! ^_^). Anywho...this recipe really only takes like 30 minutes to make, and about 30 minutes of prep time. So...here's the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 package of pre-cooked shrimp (thawed)
2 cups of fresh spinach
2 garlic cloves minced
1 package of Shanghai noodles
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small yellow onion, finely chopped
1/4 tspn ginger powder
1 1/2 tspns crushed rep pepper seeds
6 cups of chicken stock
2 tblspns soft soy sauce
2 tspns soft brown sugar
1 tblspn of sweet chili sauce
1/4 tspn basil
1 cup mushrooms
1 scallion sprout - chopped

Shrimp Marinade:

1. Combine olive oil, garlic, ginger, crushed red pepper seeds, sweet chili sauce, salt, whole black pepper and basil. Mix thoroughly.
2. In a leak proof bag, combine the thawed pre-cooked shrimp in the marinade. Let sit (refridgerated) for at least 30 minutes.

Cooking:
1. In a pot, combine the chicken stock, soy sauce, brown sugar, onions and mushrooms. Let come to a boil.
2. In a skillet combine the shrimp, remaining marinade, and spinach. Let simmer.
3. In a separate pot, bring water to a boil and cook noodles until tender (or to taste).
4. **Optional Step!!** I chose to serve this dish with rice as an aside. So, you can cook the rice in a rice cooker. ^_^

Place noodles in a soup bowl. Add the soup base and veggies followed by the spinach and shrimp. Garnish with the chopped scallions. Serve with a side of rice.

A Funny Commentary On a Great Post from the Ask A Korean Blog

2010-07-20T18:23:00.001-04:00

Okay, so recently I started following a blog I came across called "Ask a Korean". It's a great little blog written from the perspective of a Korean American guy and covers everything from Korean culture to little random posts. Well, today I came across a post on AAK's blog called "Open letter to non Asian-American People" which was basically a listing of how not to make an ass out of yourself when approaching and interacting with Asian Americans.

I love this blog...but with this post, I think it would honestly apply to any group of people. It reminded me of the number of times I've experienced that "did this joker really say this retarded crap to me and think that they're cute?!" moment. So, I decided to compile a personal list of things I've experienced as an African American woman that might help some non-black people learn how to better interact with their peers! And this is just for fun...so please don't write me a 20 page dissertation on how what I said was offensive. The Internet is free...start your own blog and type away if you don't like what's in this list.

Nothing is more obnoxious than people saying things like:

1. "You speak so clearly!" No, not all of us sound like Lil Wayne, and the underlying implication that you didn't think smart AA's existed until you met me is extremely insulting. I went to an Ivy League school, why would I sound like Lil Wayne.

2. Trying to talk to me in a hood slang accent. I should let you know I grew up in one of the whitest neighborhoods in Indianapolis...in fact, I'm probably more preppy or suburban than you, so please stop trying to relate to me under the assumption that every black person grew up in "tha hood". Unless you're Eminem, or someone who truly grew up in "tha hood"...talk normal.

3. Giving me the look of shock if I tell you I got a sunburn at the beach. Contrary to popular belief, a higher percentage of melanin in your skin isn't a guarantee that you won't get burned.

4. "You're so pretty, are you mixed or something?" Now in fairness, yes I have a lot, and I do mean A LOT going on in my family tree. But whether you meant to or not (and most of the time I'm sure people don't when they say this to me) you're also implying that by default, if I'm "just black" that I wouldn't be pretty. Unfortunately, that plays to a huge cultural thing in the AA community about skin color and its equivalence with beauty - you don't want to go there with a black person. It's a foot in mouth thing...just say I'm pretty, and if I choose to give you the break down on my family tree then so be it.

5. "You look just like that one actress/singer/chick down the street." Much like #4, I'm sure you're not implying it, but seriously, we don't all look alike. I don't look like Janet Jackson from Good Times, and just because I sometimes go blonde doesn't make me Beyonce either.

6. "I know you can show us how to dance!" Said to me at a frat party in college...actually I've seen some pretty rhythm-less black people...so once again...don't let the stereotype get your head twisted. Although yes, I can dance! ^_^

7. "I know all about black women and their hair." Sorry, just because you watched Chris Rock's movie "Good Hair" doesn't mean you know jack about black women and their hair and the cultural significance it plays in our society. You watched a movie...that's it...don't let it go to your head.

8. "Can I touch your hair?!" No jackass, you can't. Just for reference...asking to touch anything on anyone who you don't really know is much like non-verbally saying "I look at you as if you're something strange and odd...so I must inspect it". Inspect from afar...and silently.

9. "My neighbor/mailman/person-down-the-block-who-I-don't-really-know is black". This is cringe-worthy. Please, I totally get it that a lot of people don't actually spend a lot of time around people of color just because of the composition of their town. But saying this, makes you seem really out of touch.

10. "You must get mad when you see a black man with a white woman" Ummm actually no...I have been happily in an interracial relationship with a Puerto Rican man for the last 5 years. So, why would I be worrying about what some random man who I don't know is doing or who he's dating. Don't let the 1990's urban "African American themed" movies get to your head...I don't care what the next man is doing as long as he's doing it for love and not for "status" or to fill a fetish.

11. Speaking of fetishes...don't assume that all AA women are freaks or like the video chicks on late night BET & will welcome advances from anything male...I know some serious prudes out there. And it's insulting to have men come up to you trying to be wayyy too familiar. Unless you want me to mace you...keep your thoughts to yourself.

12. "Why do black people do (insert subject here)?" How the hell would I know?! I'm one black woman...I do not speak for all black people around the world. I don't ask you to rep your race/ethnicity...please don't ask me to quantify an entire group of people.

13. "Are you an 'angry black woman'?" Seriously?! AA women are in a "damned if we do damned if we don't" position wayyyy too many times. I'm not an angry black woman but this question tries my patience...just because you've watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman", "Waiting to Exhale" or any other "AA oriented female empowerment movie" doesn't make you an expert on black women and our love/hate relationship in our overall community. I would have to say, no, I'm not an angry black woman...but this question makes me want to slap you.

14. "You must be great at sports" I'm not Venus or Serena or Sheryl Swoops. In fact, I was happy to get a C in gym class. Please don't assume things.

15. Fried chicken, watermelon & chitlins. Okay yes I like fried chicken, but who doesn't? (besides a vegetarian!) Watermelon? Not a fan of the consistency....and the thought of eating pig intestines is too gross for words.

16. The assumption that all black people (African, W. Indian, AA's, black Brits, etc.) are all the same. FAIL FAIL FAIL...it's a night and day kind of thing. The only thing we share is melanin and a shared general ancestry...please don't lump us all in the same category. Some people take HUGE offense to this...much like saying a Mexican is the same as a PRican as a Dominican as a Spaniard...I've seen people get into huge arguments over being lumped into the same ethnicity...don't go there!

Okay...so those are my pet peeves...anyone else experienced anything like this? Doesn't have to be just black people...share your comments and again, this was all in fun so please don't send me hate mail over this! ^_^

More Cooking Goodness - Chicken Satay w/Peanut Sauce & a Green Bean & Cucumber Sweet Chili Sauce Salad

2010-07-05T21:01:00.000-04:00

So, as most people know I'm a foodie...I love food especially when I can replicate dishes that are some of my faves. Today is one of those recipes. I LOVE Chicken Satay...and until today, I never realized how easy it was to make. So...I'm putting two recipes up today:

Chicken Satay with Peanut Sauce

Green Bean & Cucumber Salad with Sweet Chili Sauce

Chicken Satay with Peanut Sauce

Ingredients:

8 chicken breasts
1 onion roughly chopped
4 cloves of garlic finely chopped
1/4 tspn crushed red pepper seeds
1 tspn ground cumin
1/4 tspn salt
1 tblspn soy sauce
1/4 cup oil
1 tbspn soft brown sugar
cucumber slices

Peanut Sauce Ingredients:

1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
1 1/2 cups coconut milk
1/2 cup water
2 tbspns sweet chili sauce
1 tbspn soy sauce
2 tspns lemon juice

Chicken:
1. Combine onions, garlic, red pepper seeds, cumin, salt, soy sauce, oil & brown sugar in a bowl and mix thoroughly.
2. In a bowl or plastic bag combine the marinade and chicken and let sit for 2 hours.
3. On a skillet or in a pan, heat the chicken thoroughly.
4. After the chicken is browned on both sides, remove from heat and cut into strips.
5. Any chicken that is still undercooked (inspect each strip for pink areas) should be returned to the skillet or pan to finish cooking.

Peanut Sauce:
1. Combine peanut butter, coconut milk, water, chili sauce, soy sauce and lemon juice in a pan.
2. Mix thoroughly and place over a low to medium heat.
3. Once the mixture begins to bubble, remove from heat and stir.
4. The sauce should begin to thicken as it cools.

Serve chicken with drizzles of the peanut sauce over it and with sauce on the side.

Green Bean & Cucumber Salad with Sweet Chili Sauce

Ingredients:
1 package of fresh green beans with the ends cut off
1 cucumber peeled and chopped
1/2 tspn of black pepper
1/4 tspn of salt
1/2 tspn of garlic
1 tbspn olive oil
1 tbspn sweet chili sauce

1. In a bowl combine the green beans, black pepper, salt, garlic and olive oil in a bowl and toss.
2. In a pan, heat the green beans until they become a bright green color and tender.
3. Remove from the stove and let cool in the fridge.
4. After chilling the green beans, add the cucumbers and sweet chili sauce. Add additional olive oil if needed. Toss & serve.

An Interesting Bit o' History & A Good Read - Black Indians

2010-06-24T00:36:00.007-04:00

So,

Today I went to the Smithsonian National Museum of American Indians down in Bowling Green here in NYC. To be honest, the museum was a bit of a "womp womp" moment as it only had 5 exhibit halls in total and one of them wasn't even dedicated to American Indians and the other was an "eccentric" art exhibit reflecting Skin both as a metaphor and a literal meaning...but the art pieces were just odd with the exception of one that had to do with beading. (But I've never been one for eccentric slashes of paint as art kind of person - give me a real painting...but that's a topic for another day).

People who are close to me know that I have American Indian heritage, in total I'm a quarter American Indian - a combo of Cherokee and Black Crow. So, there was a very personal reason for why I wanted to go to the museum, I'm a history buff specifically as it relates to US history and I wanted to see what this museum had to offer on a topic that hits close to home. But, even though the NYC version of this museum wasn't quite what I was hoping for, I found an interesting book in the gift shop entitled "Black Indians" by African American historian William Loren Katz (read that as he studies AA history...not that he is AA). He writes about other things besides black history, but if you check out his website, he does quite a bit of coverage of the role, marginalization and and eventual progression of African Americans in US history. I found the book interesting enough that I bought it this afternoon and couldn't wait to get home, read it, and finished it.

Well this book peels back a layer on a really forgotten portion of US history - the symbiotic and intermingled relationship of Africans and Indians in the Americas (North, South, Caribbean and Central) and the various contributions that Black Indians (either described as Africans/former slaves who were adopted into Indian nations or as offspring who were the product of an interracial relationship) made in society. Many of the African American heroes that the average black child grows up hearing about can trace some form of Indian ancestry...Langston Hughes, Crispus Attucks, and Frederick Douglass to name a few.

But more than just beating us over the head by saying "hey Black Indians exist in real life", the book "Black Indians" also really highlighted how much two very distinct and definitely marginalized cultures - through which the "awesomeness" that is America was achieved on their misfortunes - relied so much on each other and when combined ended up being some of the most difficult foes that an expansionist/Manifest Destiny focused US government would ever face. Before reading this book tonight, I never knew how many Africans (i.e former slaves or free-born blacks) actually assimilated into Seminole culture and various Indian nations, and actually helped to lead during peace time and lead successful counter attacks in the years leading up to the Trail of Tears - these things aren't taught in traditional history classes which often present a very narrow minded view of US history and the roles of minorities within it.

But Katz also touches on something which is very huge in the African American community - that to embrace any other culture as a part of your heritage rather than being "just black" is to reject your "blackness":

"When Black Americans have pursued their genealogy, they have focused on their African roots and sought a meaningful black heritage. Children of the black awareness of the 1960s have rarely cared to mention an Indian ancestry because this might be seen as a denial of their African origins and the value of blackness. All this is part of a racial nightmare we have inherited."

I've always embraced the variety in my background that is evident through the diversity in my family tree. Whether it's West Indian, American Indian, Creole or just plain white and black (all things in my heritage), I've never felt like identifying with one made me any less of an African American (I've always done a o_0 face to people who feel that way). To quote Katz again:

"Today just about every African-Amercan family tree has an Indian branch...Native Americans and Africans merged by choice, invitation, and love...and it explains why families who share this biracial inheritance feel so much solace and pride."

Anywho, I didn't mean to turn this into the super long post that it became, but books like this are essential...not just for African Americans with American Indian ancestry such as myself, but for all Americans. The other reason this book gave me an "ah-ha" moment was because all my life, I assumed Black Crow referred to a nation in general, but after reading this book and noting how Katz distinguishes between the "full blooded" indians versus those intermingled with African ancestry (referred to as Black Seminole/Black Cherokee/etc.), I now have to wonder if Black Crow refers to an actual subset of the Crow nation (blacks who had assimilated and probably later intermarried and had children) versus the entire Crow nation*.
*And if you're wondering why I refer to American Indians as nations vs. tribes...tribes makes a group sound archaic or barbaric, nations pays tribute to the fact that the various peoples had entire hierarchies and prosperous societies that existed & continue to survive today.

No one group's contributions and turmoil in this nation's history should be marginalized or ignored just to create a glossy "we all love each other" ideal; especially when reality and history have proven that this wasn't the case back in the day. And this is a huge concern with the amount of educational boards around the country who are choosing to "revise" text books to create an idealized form of US history. The purpose of books like Black Indians isn't to continue division, but to shed light on topics which are gritty, harsh, but a true reality. They put a face to a whole subset of people who haven't been officially recognized by the mainstream media for centuries.

BzzAgent: Got2b Smooth Operator

2010-06-21T20:34:00.000-04:00

Surprise surprise, you guys know that I'm a BzzAgent. I agree to do product reviews, get shipped the product for free in exchange for letting all of you good people know what I think of it. So, anything hair and make up related is definitely something that I'm up for.

This time, I'm reviewing the hair line "got2b's" new cashmere line, and specifically their smoothing lotion "Smooth Operator". So the deal is that it helps to tame fly aways and keep your hair looking shiny & well moisturized.

I preface this by saying, normally I don't use products that contain alcohol because ultimately, alcohol dries out your hair (and many hair products have alcohol in them!). But I have to say, got2b's "Smooth Operator" was a good product. I received 6 sample packs about a week or so ago and at first I wasn't terribly excited once I saw that alcohol was an ingredient. But, now I only have about 2 left so...I think I might actually go purchase a full bottle when my samples run out!

So, to use this product, you pump a quarter size amount (depending on how much hair you have you might need more) and evenly distribute it onto towel-dried hair or dry hair. I put it on my hair after I spritzed it with a bit of water and detangling leave in conditioner. The sample packs actually have a lot of product in them...don't think the average person would need quite that much as it might cause build up. After it dried a bit, I combed it out so it was fluffy and not so flat.

So, this was the end result, I know the pic doesn't show my entire hair, but the curls stayed soft and bouncy all day! (Yes, my dog Jimmy Choo wanted to get into the mix too) But the luster was great and my hair felt light and bouncy without feeling weighed down, so got2b's "Smooth Operater" is definitely a keeper!

My New Favorite Word - Wonky!

2010-05-19T00:57:00.000-04:00

Yup...I have a new favorite word - Epic Fail has been bumped to my 2nd favorite word. My new word is (imagine drum roll) "wonky"!

According to Urban Dictionary, the top entry for "wonky" is "weird, whacked out, messed up, not working for no definable reason. Usually applied to technology."

*Although I've heard it applied to fashion don'ts, bad hairstyles & everything in between...*

Basically, I love this word because:

1. It sounds funny! ^_^
2. It's a good description for when voice mail messages disappear into the ether, your email account flips out, or any other mess up that you couldn't find the perfect word to use to describe it!

This is the Hotness...

2010-05-19T00:14:00.002-04:00

So...

Normally, I'm not a Snow White fan...for some reason she was one Disney princess I just couldn't like. She sang in annoyingly high tones & was just overall - a dumb chick.

Anywho...I saw this vinyl decal sticker on Etsy and I had to have it! It's Snow White, but she's a badass...note the awesome gloves and mask...

And of course, how awesome is it that the decal is created perfectly so that she's holding the Apple logo...

I bought it in white (I have a black MacBook). For only $8.99 + $3.00 shipping, this is a must have. To snag your own custom/stock vinyl decals, shimmy on over to Etsy. There are a lot of vendors who are selling them, but I bought mine from "Crafty Gal Decals"!

**And yes, I posted a pic with a watermark - it's not mine, and I don't have the goods yet! Once I get my product in, I'll update this post to show how the white looks on a black MacBook...

My New Favorite iPhone App (Weekend Edition) - Pen Pals

2010-05-16T13:14:00.001-04:00

Keeping it short and sweet...

I just got this app last night, Pen Pals, and I'm already addicted. Okay, so I love meeting new people. And I especially love meeting new people from other countries because you never know when you'll get the chance to visit that country. And then, you'll have an instant friend. :)

So, last night I downloaded PenPals..I think it was like $1.99 but I decided to give it a try (although to be fair, it's getting mixed reviews because of connectivity issues with the Dos Hombres' server).

The deal is that you can create a random greeting message (either text or with audio & pics too) and then send it out to the ether. It will be sent randomly to someone else who's also using the Pen Pals app and then they can choose to either reply back to you or delete it. And from there you two can either continue chatting through Pen Pals or make arrangements to chat elsewhere (Skype, AIM, etc.).

So, I decided not to write a random greeting but to wait and see who might send me a random greeting. As of now, I've gotten 8 or 9 greetings. Half of them I tossed just because I wasn't interested and their greeting wasn't all that persuasive. But the others were interesting. And, get this, two of the people who's greetings I kept are from - yup you guessed it, South Korea! And one of the two also works in entertainment too...too funny.

So, I highly recommend picking up this app if you have an Apple compatible device. I haven't had any connectivity issues so far & you never know who you may meet! Plus the graphics on this thing are so cute...it's worth the $1.99!!!

My K-Novella Obsession - 검사 프린세스

2010-05-14T17:57:00.001-04:00

Yup...I'm going through a bit of a K-Novella obsession at the moment - especially since now the plot is finally getting juicy. So, obviously, as you guys know, I'm studying Korean right now and one of my tutors suggested that I watch Korean shows (without subtitles) to help with my listening comprehension. It seemed like a good idea, especially since I don't really have anyone in my close social circle who speaks Korean.

Most of my friends and my boyfriend are Spanish, so there's no help there (I already speak passable Spanish). So, I went on www.bada.us and managed to catch a show at the very beginning of its first season - 검사 프린세스 (Prosecutor Princess). I only missed one or two shows, but 검사 프린세스 is about a privileged girl (Ma-Hye-Ri - who I will later just refer to as Hye Ri - also pictured in the show poster at left) who manages to pass the Korean version of the Bar and begins working in the prosecutor's office. At first she's at somewhat of a clerk position under the ultra yummy prosecutor Se-Joon...pause for yumminess... (no that's not Se-Joon in the pic - that's another guy who's part of the love square I mention below)

Okay, anyway Hye Ri is initially not really concerned with her job - and why should she be, she's privileged - living a life that the other prosecutors couldn't even begin to afford on a state salary. But eventually (and I forget the reason why because the first few episodes are honestly a tad bit silly) she becomes a full fledged prosecutor - but since she's been so flighty, the cases that are given to her are fluff. But eventually she takes herself (and her jobs) more seriously and proves that she really is the stuff that good attorneys/prosecutors are made of.

I'm leaving a lot of the plot out just because, there's a whole love square going on as well as the usual dramatic shenannigans for a love/work drama such as this one. Even if you don't understand Korean (or much of it - as is my case with this show) you can pretty much glean a lot of what's going on from watching it. And there are sites that offer the shows with English subtitles. I'm just purposely not watching those versions so my Korean can improve. :) Of course, if you don't want to watch with subtitles, yet aren't understanding everything that's being said (like me) then I highly recommend that you follow up the shows with an awesome blog I came across a couple weeks ago - www.dramabeans.com. They give a full recap (in English!) for all the major K-Dramas (fyi: K-novella is just what I call it because after studying Spanish for so many years, their word for TV drama is "novella"). So, you won't miss out on anything - or in my case, you can confirm that what you thought you heard was right!

The Skinny: 검사 프린세스
When: **If you actually get SBS then it airs Wed & Thurs at 9:55pm local (Korea) time - otherwise you can check out sites like www.bada.us where the latest episodes are posted every Wed & Thurs
Recaps: www.dramabeans.com - just do a search for Prosecutor Princess, it takes a week sometimes for the latest recap to be posted

My New Favorite iPhone Game App - Doodle Jump

2010-05-14T17:15:00.000-04:00

Yup, it's that time of the week again...time for my favorite iPhone app.

Well this week, we're talking games and the winner is....Doodle Jump! I love this game because it's simple, fast paced and helps pass away the time on a long commute. The goal is to get the little Doodle Jump guy to jump on little platforms as high as you can without getting snagged by any of the obstacles.

Along the way there are little helpful things you come across that help your Doodle Jump guy jump higher, fly farther or protects him from being hurt by the weird creatures that might get in the way. My favorite is the rocket pack. Another added bonus is this game is always being updated - so there are always new themes, weird creatures and helps that show up from time to time.

Doodle Jump is only $0.99 for iPhone and iPod Touch users so I highly recommend it.

FYI, Lima Sky (the makers of Doodle Jump) also have another awesome app that I love called Flags Fun...definitely recommend it if you're in the mood for a fun brain teaser that also teaches you a 'lil something about which flags belong to which countries.

Social Media = Convos, Not Monologues

2010-05-13T02:12:00.000-04:00

So, every once in a while, I get into these great discussions on LinkedIn (my business social network site) and it always gets me thinking on how much social media is misused in the business sphere. Yesterday (Tuesday) I replied to a post where someone was asking if joining a bunch of social networking sites was effective. And the original poster (OP) cited a friend of their's who joined like 10 - 15 sites, posted content daily and upgraded their page rank to the 2nd page. That's awesome right? No not really, and here's how I explained my reasoning:

That's not an effective use of time nor does it mean that your social campaign is truly effective. Yes, he gained rank, but that doesn't mean that people really know who he or his company is and what they do, and why they should want to use his company. I'm a social marketer, and I wouldn't recommend that someone use more than two or three social sites. For example, I have a FB, Twitter and LinkedIn account. My FB is linked to my Twitter so I'm not racing back and forth between the two. Everytime I make a tweet, it automatically goes to my FB page.

Yes, being active on a social site will increase your Google rankings, but I was able to push my rank to dominating page 1 (as well as doing that for some of my clients) without going on every social page. The reality is that social pages shouldn't be dominating your time - otherwise when are you getting real work done? And, how can you really have "conversations" with people if you're on every site known to man? That's the whole point of businesses using social media - to put a face to the company/to connect directly with consumers. If you're on all the social sites, then you're spending two or three hours doing mundane updates and not focusing on the response rates to your posts.

Plus, there's also the issue that not every social site will really address your demographic. For example, if you're marketing to people in the older half of Gen Y, why are you on Myspace? Myspace has essentially become the teenage playground (and young teens at that 13 - 15 year olds). So, I think your friend did a shot in the dark. It was effective in that it increased his Google page rank, but he probably could have gotten similar & more meaningful results with a bit less effort and more targeting.

And then I got a private inMail from a group member who read my response and asked specifically why they weren't receiving results for some of their social media campaigns for their company. They were posting to quite a few different networks, knew that it probably wasn't the best use of their time/efforts, but wasn't sure how to approach management with their feelings. So, I said:

Hi [name withheld for privacy!],

It's about frequency & conversation, not just the total placements. Besides the fact that posting all over the place is just exhausting, you're not giving yourself the chance to see what the response rates are to your content/updates. One thing I noticed when I first started on Twitter (long before I jumped on the FB craze) was that the people who seemed to have the most followers & the most influence (when you hubspot someone's name) were the people who seemed to be "regulars" on Twitter. Maybe they posted about work things, but then they also posted nice random posts about just whatever they're doing. And most importantly, they replied to other people's posts. That's a conversation - rather than just posting content which comes across as a one way monologue.

Social media is supposed to humanize a brand - so if a company is just doing shot in the dark approaches by posting to too many services at once, it's disorienting to consumers and also makes them feel like the company is somewhat of a fraud. That you don't really want to connect with them, but just have an online presence (sort of a "me too" effect). It's a fine line with social media, and that's also a reason why I don't recommend that people post to more than 2 or 3 sites. If you spread yourself too thin, it shows and in turn makes it harder to connect with your consumer base. Of course, you can also link your services together to save time (much like I linked my Twitter to my FB account) but that still isn't an excuse to join too many sites at once.

Keep in mind page rank means nothing other than the Google/search engine crawler came across your name or meta tags that much more often than your competitors - it doesn't mean that consumers are actually searching you. Conversations will get you high ranks & more importantly, consumer recognition. Otherwise, you run the risk like the guy in the OP's post. Yes, he got page rank, but he got page 2 even after being on all those sites, and yet he still doesn't know whether or not consumers know who he is. And in the end, that's the point of social media, to get others to sing your praises and recommend you or relay your info to others without you having to pay for an expensive campaign.

Let your bosses know that a huge roster of social pages doesn't equal an effective campaign. :)

My Yummy Stuffed Shells Recipe

2010-05-09T22:16:00.001-04:00

More awesome recipes from me! So today I decided to make a tray of Stuffed Shells! Total time to prepare (prep & cook) 1 1/2 hours.

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
1 package of ground beef
1 package of fresh asparagus
1 package of fresh mushrooms
1 red onion
1 box of jumbo shell pasta
1 container of ricotta cheese
2 packages of shredded mozzarella
fresh mozzarella (optional)
1/4 tspn basil
1/4 tspn oregano
1/4 tspn salt
1/4 tspn pepper
1/4 tspn garlic powder (or 2 fresh cloves of garlic)
1/4 tspn Goya Adobo
1 package Goya "Beef Bullion"
2 jars of Tomato Basil sauce (from Ragu)
Olive Oil

This recipe is done in three stages...listed below:

*The Veggies:
1. Cut up the onions and mushrooms and store in a separate container.
2. Rinse the asparagus and trim the ends. Combine with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic and saute over medium heat until asparagus is tender. (The salt, pepper and garlic powder used in this step is just to taste - not in reference to the 1/4 tspn sizes listed in the ingredients list)
3. Cut the asparagus into small pieces and store with the onions and mushrooms.

The Beef & Pasta:
1. Combine all of the 1/4 tspn ingredients and beef bullion with the raw ground beef and mix thoroughly. Brown in a skillet until the juices run clear.
2. While the beef is browning, heat the shells and cook until al dente. (if you cook the shells too long, they'll be too soft to handle in the next step & might even fall apart - which will really suck! ^_^)
3. Once the shells are soft (yet still firm), remove from heat and drain. Let them sit under cool running water to keep the shells from sticking & to cool them down so you can handle them in the next step.

Stuffing the Shells!:
1. In a big bowl combine the veggies, cooked beef, the entire tub of ricotta cheese and half a bag of the shredded mozarella. Mix thoroughly.While you're at this step, preheat your oven to 425F.
2. In a 12x9 pan, spread a base of the tomato sauce to completely cover the bottom of the pan.
3. Begin stuffing a tablespoon of mixture into each shell and place on top of the tomato sauce in the pan.
4. Once all of the shells are stuffed, (note! I used an entire box of shells, and only ended up not using 5 of them) put another layer of tomato sauce to completely cover the shells. If you like your pasta extra saucy, feel free to add as much sauce as you please. I bought 2 jars to be safe and ended up using 1 1/2 jars of sauce.
**The shells can be visible, but none of them should look dry like no sauce has touched them.**
5. Take the remaining shredded cheese from the first package and sprinkle a layer over the shells. Again, if you like a lot of cheese, feel free to use the 2nd package.
6. If you opted to also use fresh mozzarella, place pieces of mozzarella at random over the top of the shells. You don't need a lot - unless you're really going for a super cheesy experience!
**if you used a disposable pan like I did, make sure you place the pan on a cookie sheet to give it support**
7. Place the pan of stuffed shells in the oven and bake for 45 minutes to an hour. Remove from oven and let cool for at least 10 minutes. 5 shells should be a good serving amount! Serve with garlic bread and a little parmesan cheese...enjoy!

Shoes, Shoes & More Shoes!

2010-05-05T21:46:00.000-04:00

Of course I love shoes, what woman doesn't?!

Anyway, I was in the city today and I bought this cute pair of shoes. They're pseudo classic looking but at the same time are super comfortable. It's almost a 3 inch heel but even as I walked around the city with them on this afternoon, my feet didn't hurt at all! Got them at the DSW in Union Square for $49.95...I love that store! ^_^

**I have long legs haha!**

**I love how classic these look, they go great with jeans, shorts (which was what I was wearing today) or a skirt!**

And I love the contrasting strap-work! Super cute!! ^_^ They also had this in a nautical navy stripe with red accent straps and silver hardware instead of the tortoiseshell on my version - but I decided to skip the nautical theme.

BzzAgent: Hills Science Diet Small & Toy Breed Dog Food Pt 2

2010-05-05T21:13:00.000-04:00

So, I mentioned earlier this week that I was doing a BzzAgent survey for Hill's Science Diet Small & Toy Breed Dry Dog Food. Well, today I went out at picked up a bag (comped by BzzAgent/Hill's Science). If you remember, I have a 2 year old Yorkie who we currently feed the Eukanuba Yorkshire Terrier Formula kibble.

**The Hills Science is 4.5lbs vs the 7lb Eukanuba bag on the left.**

For starters, the Hill's Science Diet food comes in a resealable bag - which is nice, since we have to use a clip to keep our Eukanuba closed. The only draw back is that the Ziploc-like seal opening is so small that we can't use a scoop/cup to put food in the bowl but would actually have to take the entire bag to Jimmy's bowl and pour it.

Well, after putting the food out Jimmy seemed to like it - which made us happy because he's quite picky. He's free fed so we didn't expect him to demolish the bowl, but he ate for about 3 or 4 minutes.

But then it went downhill from there. About thirty minutes after being fed, Jimmy ran under the couch and started whimpering - which makes me think that the Hill's Science Diet didn't agree with him. Since about almost 7pm my poor furbaby has been very lethargic - nothing has motivated him to get up - so he must have a stomach ache. I know for a fact he's sick since as I type, I'm eating a bowl of pasta and normally the sight of human food is enough to energize him to beg for scraps while we eat. No begging tonight - he's been laying on the couch resting.

**Poor Jimmy has been whimpering for the last hour and a half...**

Verdict: I'm kicking myself for deciding to try out this product. I'm not saying that Hill's Science is a bad product because I'm sure that this isn't the outcome for everyone else. But I should have considered the old saying "if it ain't broke...". Jimmy Choo has been eating Eukanuba since he was 2 months old with no issues whatsoever. There are some foods that don't agree with him and ultimately when it comes to buying food (much like with babies), it's a trial and error. But at least I didn't have to come out of pocket. Although, the product is fairly cheap - $8.99 for a 4.5lb bag from PetLand (at least that's the price here in the Bx...)

So, now I'm feeding my pup a little plain white rice to calm his stomach which he is responding to. And now he's resting in his bed...I did this test because I thought it would be a graet alternative, but to be honest, when it comes to your pet's food (much like if you have children) don't go messing around unless you absolutely have to. -_- It's one thing to do a cosmetics review, it's quite another to mess with my pet's tummy - especially when the poor thing suffers as a result of it.

My Yummy Spicy Shrimp Salad

2010-05-03T22:45:00.001-04:00

Yes, I love to cook - but only if there's people to cook for, otherwise it's just no fun. So, today I didn't feel like cooking anything that would require a lot of time at the stove/oven considering that it's still really warm out and I haven't entirely acclamated myself to the weather change. So, I decided to make a shrimp salad - it turned out a bit spicier than I had intended but it was awesome. The recipe is below and should make about 4 - 6 servings depending on how generous you are with your portions:

**See my little Yorkie in the bottom left corner wishing he could have some! But this is too spicy for him!!!***

Prep time: 35 minutes
Cook time: 5 - 10 minutes

Ingredients:
30 - 40 Shrimp (either fresh raw or pre-cooked frozen)
1 avacado
1 can mandarin oranges
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup thawed frozen/drained canned loose kernel corn
1 cup fresh mozzarella balls
1 1/2 heads of romaine lettuce
1/4 tspn cayenne pepper
1/4 tspn Jamaican curry powder
1/4 tspn oregano
1/4 tspn basil
1/4 tspn black pepper
1/4 tspn salt
1/2 tspn garlic
olive oil (I didn't measure the amount of olive oil I used, but put enough to liberally marinate the shrimp - which will later be used as the dressing)

Shrimp Marinade:
After thawing and peeling shrimp (as necessary) combine cayenne pepper, black pepper, oregano, basil, salt, garlic, curry and olive oil in a plastic bag with the shrimp. Mix thoroughly and refrigerate for at least 20 - 30 minutes.

Salad:
Chop the lettuce and place into a large bowl. Drain the mandarin oranges and add to the lettuce. Combine dried cranberries, corn and mozzarella to the lettuce and toss. After 20 - 30 minutes has passed place shrimp and marinade in heated skillet. If using pre-cooked shrimp cook for 5 minutes, no more than 10 if using raw shrimp (until it turns pinkish). Add shrimp and marinade to the salad and toss. Plate the salad and garnish with wedges of avacado.

Enjoy!

My New Favorite iPhone Korean Learning App - LingoPal

2010-05-02T21:11:00.000-04:00

Yup, I'm doing it again...it's time for the "My New Favorite iPhone App" segment! Last week it was a game, this time, it's something educational (yet fun at the same time).

If you've been reading my blog or just know me personally, you know that I'm learning Korean. I watch my K-novellas (검사 프린세스), I have language apps on my iPhone, learning websites I use and I've run through a number of tutors (one of which is coming back this month - yay!). But I came across an app that is actually intended for you to use when you're actually in a situation where conversing in a foreign language would be extremely useful. It's LingoPal's Korean app on iTunes. They're a language company that produces apps and products for all different types of languages, but obviously, I was only really interested in their Korean content.

They have phrases that can be used in any situation from getting around the city, ordering food and flirting - and better yet - learning how to properly reject someone in Korean. ^_^ My favorite rejection lines are the following (things I wouldn't mind telling some obnoxious dude on the subway):

Leave me alone: 저를 혼자 두세요 (jeo-reul-hon-ja-doo-se-yo)
I don't like you: 난 너가싫어 (nan-neo-ga-sil-heo)
Fuck off: 꺼져 (keo-jyeo)
(Because seriously, after I say I have a bf, I'm not interested in you telling me "well why can't we be friends" - I don't want to be your friend. I have plenty of friends & they don't look at me like I'm the last rib on the plate)

Anyway, the app is free (a huge bonus when dealing with learning apps) for those with iPhones/iPod Touches. If you're wondering why I said it's a huge bonus when trying to learn or make an application part of your daily life, the reason is nothing is worse than paying for an application with limited functionality - especially when trying to learn a language. I usually don't "buy" language apps just because I hate to be disappointed, but the most I've ever spent on a language app is $1.99.

The other useful thing is, it has a pronunciation guide that you can play for each phrase as well as showing you what the phrase is supposed to look like (extremely useful for languages like Korean where the writing system is entirely different from Romance languages). A word of warning, you need to have at least a basic knowledge of the Hangul (Korean) writing system and pronunciation for this to be an extremely useful app because there is no romanization available. If you don't know what "romanization" is, go back to the list of Korean phrases I wrote above (the pronunciations I made for each one is considered "romanizing" the phrase to make it easier for non-Korean speaking people to understand how to pronounce the word).

BzzAgent: Hills Science Diet Small & Toy Breed Dog Food

2010-05-02T19:29:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, I'm a BzzAgent. I get to test out new products and services for free in exchange for offering my opinion on them and spreading the word to all of you readers out there in cyberspace. So I have two upcoming BzzReports that I need to do, one for Cover Girl & another one for Hill's Science Diet - the pet food company.

Well this post is about Hill's Science Diet. I just got my BzzKit for the program, and unlike normally where the product is delivered directly to me, this time, I've been given a coupon to redeem for a free bag of Hill's Science Diet Small & Toy Breed dry dog food.

A bit of background info: I have a Yorkie - Jimmy Choo. He's just over 2 years old, about 6.3lbs and is somewhat of a picky eater. Since my boyfriend and I got him when he was just two months old, we've been feeding him Eukanuba kibble. Of course, we give him other things too (Mighty Dog and the occasional treat of chicken, rice, cheese or turkey), but the Eukanuba kibble is the mainstay.

**Our Jimmy Choo...in a rare moment of inactivity**

At first we gave him the Eukanuba Puppy Lamb & Rice Formula but then once he was a year, we switched to Eukanuba Yorkshire Terrier Formula. The Yorkie specific formula is specially created to address the nutritional needs for not just Yorkies but a few other toy breeds as well as addressing the special needs of their coats, dental care and probiotics for healthy digestive tracts. So, I can't really complain with the Eukanuba formula, it's been good so far.

**Our current dry dog food of choice. You can't see the green sticker (hidden by the clip) but it lists that the food has probiotics in it. **

But when I saw the offer on BzzAgent, I had to give it a try. However, our Jimmy is a picky eater, so it will be interesting to see if he likes this new formula from Hill's Science Diet. But, I just refilled his bowl this morning (we free feed our pup) so, I won't be able to try out the Hill's Science until probably Tuesday when Jimmy finishes what's in his bowl right now.

My New Favorite iPhone Game App - The Impossible Test

2010-04-25T21:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have an iPhone - as if you didn't already know if you're following me on Facebook or Twitter. My app selections usually fall into a few categories:

Social Apps (FB, Twitter, HootSuite, Four Square, etc.)
Korean Learning Apps (WordPower, KC101, LingoPal, etc.)
Games (DoodleJump, Sheep Launcher, Flags Fun, Unblock Me, etc.)
Travel: (Zipcar, Expedia)
Randoms: (Currency Converter, All Recipes, Shazam, eBay)

And now I have a new "must have" to write about for the Games category. Last week I bought "Impossible Test" which is a free* app made by Pixel Cube. This game is addictive, short and definitely a brain teaser. There are about 40 - 50 (you lose count after a while) quiz screens. Nothing is inherently hard, but it makes you think through and actually read and digest every little thing that you see. The goal, once you finally make it through all the quizzes, is to try to get the fastest time. My fastest time so far has been 235 seconds. ^_^
*incidentally it looks like there's a charge for the game on the actual website - so non Apple product holders may have to pay to check out this game...

If you have an iPhone, iTouch or iPad (although I don't know if it's free on the iPad), I highly recommend you get it! Especially since it's free, you have nothing to lose by downloading it!

Is It Just Me Or Is This a Marketing Ploy?

2010-04-24T15:06:00.000-04:00

A random rant...

Okay so I've seen this commercial for the Lysol "No Touch Hand Soap System" a number of times, but the more I see it, the more I feel like it doesn't make sense.

The premise is that, with all the dirty/germy things that you can touch in a day, your hand soap pump can get really germy from multiple touches in a day. To fix this problem, they've created a touchless dispenser that is motion activated - to keep you from getting any more germs on yourself or on the soap pump. Okay, what's confusing me is, if you have antibacterial soap anyway, then it really doesn't matter if you touch the germy soap pump.

This feels more like a marketing ploy than a common sense idea. In theory, it sounds awesome - have a touchless soap dispenser so that you don't continue to contaminate surfaces. But come on, if the motion sensor in that dispenser is as "accurate" as a number of the motion sensory based dispensers in public restrooms around the country, then I can imagine myself standing there waving my hand like a moron trying to get a bit of soap to come out. ^_^

My New Favorite Korean Learning Guide

2010-04-21T00:09:00.000-04:00

Okay....unless you've been living under a rock and don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I'm studying Korean. This time last year, everyone was scratching their heads trying to understand why I would even try to learn a language where I had no real reason to (as opposed to say Japanese - or enhancing my passable Spanish skills). Fast forward to 2010 and now I do business with Korean entertainment firms - so apparently it wasn't such a bad idea for me to learn the language! Haha! ^_^

Anyway, the Korean learning curve has been a rocky one. At first my work schedule made it tiresome for me to make time for tutoring lessons or to study when I got home. Then my first tutor moved home to South Korea before returning to the States to go to school at the University of Minnesota. Then my 2nd tutor got too busy with classes at Columbia University's Business School to meet up with me anymore. And finally the third one was somewhat of a bust as we only met twice and he's going back to South Korea in May.

Finally I realized that much like learning to run my own business, if I wanted to learn to speak Korean, I was going to have to take it upon myself. So, I stumbled upon (no not through using Stumbleupon.com) a website that was developed by a (I'm assuming former) guy who used to work with KoreanClass101.com. If you're familiar with KC101 then you probably either really love it or are ambivilant to it. I'm ambivilant to the website but do like the iPhone apps!

Well the new website I found is called "www.TalkToMeInKorean.com" and is entirely different than KC101. First all the lessons are accessible without needing a membership and each one comes with a pdf and podcast that clearly outline what is being learned and how to apply it to regular conversation. And even better, they have these workbooks which help you to quiz yourself on how much you learned from the step by step lessons. I highly recommend this site if you're trying to ease into Korean. :)

And...in addition to that, I've also been spending a lot of time watching Korean TV to help my listening comprehension skills. My last tutor gave me a great site - bada.us which offers streams of all the popular Korean TV shows and movie trailers. I'm partial to the modern day dramas or "novellas" as I like to call them - for those of us familiar with the Spanish versions of soap operas. I'm partial to 검사 프린세스 ( which in Korean means "Kamsa Princess" or "Prosecuting Attorney Princess") which is the story of a well to do woman who (through her father's connections I'm guessing) lands a job working for the State as a prosecutor. Originally she's bratty and doesn't take her job seriously but as the show continues, she begins to mature. But the predictable soap opera-ish plot line is that she has a choice between two men - the silent/stern but well meaning co-worker who she has a crush on (who is a hottie) and her childhood friend who likes her but she doesn't like "in that way".

Anyway...I definitely recommend bada.us (especially since there are no subtitles like on CrunchyRoll.com) and TalkToMeInKorean.com because it clearly explains everything!

감사합니다!!!

A Thought Provoking Post...

2010-04-19T04:11:00.001-04:00

Ok...I know, it's almost 4AM on Monday morning, but every once in a while I get inspired. This is a repost of a comment I made on an ezine article...but it was so interesting and the responses to the article were so varied that I thought it deserved to be re-posted.

So, I follow Clutch Magazine (@clutchmagazine) on Twitter and they had an article that I came across called "Where Are Black Men's Voices in Single Black Woman Commentary?"

In case you don't read the article, it's basically highlighting the fact that recently, mainstream media has been focusing on the fact that there is an influx of marrying age SBF's (single black females) who aren't finding their black male counterparts. But these SBF's can be classified as middle class - gainfully employed, college educated, etc. etc. So, the columnist was essentially irritated with the mainstream focus on it - making SBF's sound like an endangered species. And, she wanted to hear the black man's perspective on it - rather than just the mainstream media's sound bites on it.

And this is where it got interesting...

People commented quite a bit - and the opinions were highly varied; some condemning black men for the current status of black on black relationships, and many saying don't just limit yourself to dating black men. Now, this is where it got me thinking...why in 2010 when our president is bi-racial are we (collective we - not personally) as black women still fixated on "The Black Man". We're in a post Loving vs. the State of VA world - where we're not forced to stick to our own. Even though it's been proven time and again through history, we're allowed to love whoever we want. So, why do we as black women only fixate on a black man and worse still become embittered when we see a black man with someone from another race - even when we know for a fact that we wouldn't want that man if he was available and interested in us?!

Having said that, this was my comment, please feel free to weigh in...

"I put this article/argument right along with the statistical evidence that people who come from single parent homes are neither as well adjusted or successful as their two parent family counterparts. If you’re looking for data to support a negative spin, it’s very easy to find it.

In additional to the overwhelming gender bashing (both obvious and subversive) that I read in this thread I also see an obnoxious sense of entitlement coming from both genders. As a black woman, I just have to put this out there: Black men don’t “owe” you a relationship just because they fulfill a few “must haves” on your list (educated, gainfully employed, etc.) and you made it through college & are upwardly mobile. And likewise, black women aren’t required to play the “submissive Christie doll” routine just because you’re a black man. Respect, loyalty and dedication are earned. Being from the same racial make up as me guarantees you nothing except that we’re both sharing common ancestry.

When it comes to finding an appropriate mate (whether same race or from a different race) you get what you give. If you walk around with a complex saying “I went to college and I have a good job and I’m attractive – black men should just WANT me – but said black man must come with XYZ” then you’re going to end up with shallow jerk offs who wouldn’t support you if you lost it all tomorrow. Likewise, the time you waste worrying about why the random guy you saw in the store was with a white/asian/latin woman is time you’re wasting not meeting the guy you really want. Why waste your time worrying about something that you can’t change? I find many of my black female friends complaining about seeing a black man with a woman of another race. And then, when I ask them if they’re even mildly attracted to the man – 9 times out of 10 they wouldn’t want him if he was single. If the man approached them in the club they would be making a stank face. So, stop complaining. Regardless of whether or not a black man is dating a woman of another race because he really loves her or for status – it doesn’t change the fact that you’re not with him – so stop worrying about him.

We (as a culture) continue to help perpetuate these stereotypes and drama by focusing on things that we can’t change. We write books about it, bring it up in movies (all written by African Americans male & female) and even in comedy skits. Yet, somehow we’re upset when “mainstream” media picks up the soundbite and runs with it. Much like the N word debate and the “bitch” word debate – if you keep making a platform for it, it’s only a matter of time until the people outside of your own community decide to start shedding light on it.

And likewise, I agree with many other women on here who have said that you shouldn’t be limiting your dating pool by just race alone. I’ve been in a healthy, supportive and HAPPY relationship with a hispanic man for the last 5 years – not because I only date Spanish men (although I have dated men of all races) – but because we actually click and connected in ways that I’ve never been able to do with anyone else – regardless of race. We’ve both supported each other in starting our own businesses and have grown as individuals and as a couple. Somehow, I’ve always found that it’s silly to only allow myself to date people based on something as superficial as skin color – especially if my hopes/goals/dreams are more aligned with someone who is from a different race. And especially with the responses I’m seeing from a lot of the women on here – if you REALLY feel black men are so villainous/overbearing/looking for someone who will kowtow to them, then it’s even more of a reason why you should be expanding your horizons, not just sitting there with sand in your mouth.

In other words – if you’re not happy with the results you’re getting, then it’s up to you to make the change. Sitting around complaining about the state of black on black relationships isn’t going to make things any better and isn’t going to get you any closer to a happy & healthy relationship."

Another Multi Post Day? Possibly...

2010-04-16T20:04:00.003-04:00

Well...since I'm relegated to sitting home & watching the Food Network on account of me not feeling 100%, I've been doing what I sometimes do best - BSing my time away online.

I'm sure everyone has trivial guilty pleasures, but one of mine was the "Single in the Suburbs" weekly blog/webisode that just finished its last installment this week on MSN's Lifestyle channel. Maybe the reason I liked it so much was because it centered on someone from Indiana (woo-hoo, we Hoosiers don't get a lot of love from the rest of the country, so when we make it into the cyber sphere...I have to take notice) or maybe it was just a nice read. Anyway, the storyline centered around a recently divorced woman who had to leave the idyllic "wife stays home & hubby makes huge money" scenario, move out of her perfect home, and endure being a single parent mom who also works.

For almost 2 and a 1/2 years, I followed poor "Sara's" (the main character) relationship troubles as this Baby Boomer woman tried to emerge into a dating world that had greatly changed since she had first dated before her marriage. Each week there were weekly installments every Thursday to buoy me through my work week and to entertain me even when I left the world of walking stiffs and started my own company. Alas, this week was the final installment. The ending was a bit contrived & too perfect, but I guess it was to be expected considering that MSN only gave a month's notice before winding down the series.

Part 2: Oh How I Love eBay!

2010-04-15T18:58:00.007-04:00

My love for all things bargain-y continues. So, as many of you know, I LOVE eBay. There's practically nothing that you can't get on there, and for me the best part are the Asian stores. I can always be sure of finding awesome accessories, shoes & clothes that I usually won't see here in NYC - which is definitely a feat considering that we're talking about NYC, the fashion capital of the world!

Anyway, I bought a light gray purse about a few weeks ago and it just came in today! Love love love it! Pics below:

It's nice and large, comes with an additional shoulder handle and is sooo soft with this awesome "leathery" smell. No, it's not real leather, but for $40 it's very competitive to something you could buy at Leila Rowe without the gross pvc smell! And don't get me wrong...I love Leila Rowe, but sometimes their selection is limited or - considering what you purchased & the price - the item doesn't last. I definitely remember buying a black patent leather purse from them last year that ended up being a money pit since the zipper broke not long after I bought it. -_-

A Multi Post Day! Part 1: Yorkie Email Scam Update

2010-04-15T18:49:00.002-04:00

So, last week I created a post talking about a scam email I received offering a Teacup Yorkie from Africa that was available "for free". Of course, it was a scam. After posting my angry rant, I did a quick Google search and found that:

1. It's not new - they've been doing this for a while
2. It's called the "Cameroon Puppy Scam".

Unfortunately, much like those scammy emails asking people to cash checks or accept wire transfers from Iraq War soldiers or some deceased person in a war torn country, this scam preys on the gullible person who throws caution to the wind even when an offer seems too good to be true.

Anywho, this update is because I didn't realize how much of a response that I would get from posting my reaction to the scam! I'm glad that there are people out there willing to do a little research and not accept something at face value. Apparently, quite a few Internet savvy people also received the scammy email - some who are active PetSmart users and others who aren't. As long as we continue to speak out and inform others about fraudulent activity like this, we ensure that one less person becomes the victim of a scam like the Teacup Yorkie/Cameroon Puppy Scam.

Putting Douchebags on Blast...

2010-04-10T02:21:00.004-04:00

Yes...this is a rant...

Okay so I was out on the town tonight when I got this random email. Someone had a Yorkie available for adoption - a teacup - but a Yorkie none the less. Now, if you know me, you already know that I have a Yorkie - but my furbaby is breed standard and pedigreed. He's a 6.3lb bundle of energy who loves to jump and play and who hasn't had more than a minor bruise or bump here and there from stepping on something suspect when going on walks - but more on that later.

Anywho, the reason this email goes into the "Put douchebags on blast" file (as I was told to do earlier this week lol) is because this email which I've posted below reads more like those obnoxious "Kind Madame please accept my wire transfer from the Ivory Coast for $15 Million USD and keep 10%" scams. What's really insulting is that this fictitious person is banking on the high demand for Yorkies to keep this scam going. But...let's see the email shall we? And yes, I included the email address so that if anyone else is contacted by this fraud, they can be forewarned:

From email address: Jacqueline Jones

To email address: undisclosed-recipients:;

Subject: Little Yorkie for Adoption... Respond

Message:

Hello,

How are you today? I hope this e-mail reaches you in a good mood. My name is
Jacqueline Jones and I am a consultant gynecologist surgeon and oncologist
doctor, I work for different prominent hospital and me and my husband are giving
out this little puppy for free (Adoption), This little girl weighs 1.3Lbs at 9
weeks old & should be 3Lbs when full grown only. She is very friendly with
children she fit in both Palm of your hands. She is AKC/CERF registered puppy
.Adorable and sociable with great Personalities and very good bloodlines.

She is vet-checked, up to date on shots and deforming, and her health is
guaranteed. She was recently checked by a licensed Vet Doctor for heart, knees,
skin, correct bite, and eyes problems and there no sign of any problem. Bottom
and straight sides are tender, she is A.K.C and CERF registered and shots are
given up to date.

She will come along with Travel crate, AKC/CERF Registered Papers, Toys and Food
with her  Birth Certificate, I used to reside in California with my husband but 
after my son's death, I and my husband moved to Africa due to our work and we 
have the puppy right here with us. The Yorkie is for free. You have to promise
me that you will take good care of her as she will be a New family member,
please if you are not going to take good care of the puppy, do not reply but if
you are going to take good care of her kindly reply for more details about her.
I await your urgent Response.

Thanks And God Bless

Jacqueline Jones.

Ok...the reason I posted this is - clearly this piece of crap email is a scam. Why? Well let's go through the red bold portions:

1. Undisclosed recipients: I don't know a Jacqueline Jones, so the fact that JJones@pets.com is sending a mass email is really suspect. I purchased my Yorkie from a reputable breeder I found on the AKC website. They would never just "give" a puppy to someone without properly screening them.

2. Different Prominent Hospital: Don't you know where you work?! Even if it's in the most remote location in Africa, all hospitals have names, even if it's just the name of a town. Plus the grammar is off in this email and the only reason it's so noticeable is because this writer tries too hard to come across with a formal tone - which only calls out the grammatical errors that much more.

3. AKC/Cerf Registered Puppy: By default Teacups are not breed standard and therefore frowned upon by most Yorkshire Terrier clubs (breed standard groups not meetup groups!). Teacups - as lovable as they may seem - are considered genetic anomalies, and aren't something that people should be trying to replicate as they tend to have more health issues than your "breed standard Yorkie". And PS...my breed standard Yorkie is 6lbs...if that's too big of a dog for you then you really don't need a Yorkie at all.

4. Shots & Deforming: it's "deworming" you douche...at least get the language down correctly

5. Guaranteed health: Let's be realistic, even if a puppy at the first vet visit appears 100% healthy, there's never a guarantee that as the pup ages that their health will always be 100% tip-top. A responsible breeder would use language saying that they've had the dog checked out by a vet and to the best of their knowledge, the puppy is healthy and more importantly that the puppy was bred from healthy parents with good blood lines. It might be semantics, but putting a guarantee on something that is so clearly impossible to guarantee is a red flag IMO.

6. The writer was in Cali and of course now lives in Africa with their husband: If nothing else in this email screams scam - this line should! How are we supposed to get said pup from Jacqueline? I would imagine it must be pretty expensive to ship a live animal from Africa to the US (or wherever). In fact, let's forget the fact that most commercial airlines won't let an animal on a flight that lasts longer than 12hrs (and it's definitely more than 12 hrs for a direct flight from NY to wherever in Africa).

This is where they'll hook some hapless person into paying for fictitious shipping fees only to find that "surprise!" there's no puppy and you're out the "shipping costs". In fact, I bet if you email Jacqueline, "she'll" very politely reply telling you that the puppy is on it's way as soon as you send them (via wire transfer/western union since there's no way to get money back once you send money that way) enough money to cover the cost of shipping.

Long story short - there's a sucker born every minute, but don't get caught by something this obvious. And don't hesitate to put these douchebags on blast. They're banking on society's high demand for Yorkies (Yorkies were the 3rd most popular dog breed in the US in 2009) as a way to exploit trusting people.

Yet Another Social Media Post...

2010-04-08T20:35:00.003-04:00

Okay...I actually originally posted this as a response for a LinkedIn post that I wrote earlier today but I loved it so much I decided to make a blog post around it. ^_^ If you haven't figured out from my many posts, I am a social media marketer. I do entertainment content promotion & content aggregation & monetization via Internet, mobile & TV platforms. So suffice to say, I spend a lot of time online, and with my marketing background have seen campaigns fly like eagles & tank like rocks.

To put the below comment I made in context, someone posted a discussion article/question asking about whether or not social media was something that everyone should be doing and some "best practices" for it as well. So, I said:

Social media is neither new nor relevant for all industries. Some industries like say pharmaceuticals and tobacco should stay far from it since the marketing guidelines that they face are far more stringent than other industries. In my opinion, social media is really nothing more than word-of-mouth marketing done on a global & digital scale. Rather than me waiting for "Millie from Milwaukee" to send me a letter telling me how wonderful product XYZ is, I can go online and find thousands of Millie's who are either promoting or refuting a product, idea or service.

Likewise, much as others have said [there were a couple of comments above mine], "traditional" social media options (Twitter/Facebook, etc.) are nice additions to a strong marketing campaign but shouldn't be the only concentration. If Twitter and Facebook are having a hard time truly monetizing their platforms, that's usually a really good indicator that it's probably not a good idea to base the success/failure of your company on those platforms as well.

I believe the key to successful marketing via social media is transparency. If you create a Twitter handle or Facebook fan page for your company, please don't fall prey to the marketing fallacy that "the public is stupid". All it takes is a few quick seconds on Google to learn who is linked to who through social sites. Be upfront on who you are, so that when you do promote marketing oriented messages on these platforms, people will understand why they're receiving these messages and the backlash will be practically non-existent.

And finally, don't abuse FB/Twitter and only promote but never have a dialogue. The CEOs of Red Mango & Zappos are great examples of company owners who are truly embracing social media. Obviously these two firms are not relying solely on Facebook & Twitter to create revenue. But at the same time, I know that occasionally I can receive $1 off coupons for Red Mango smoothies and even learn when the CEO of Red Mango is having a birthday party or what the CEO of Zappos is randomly doing. Now more than ever, people want to know that they're connecting with real people, rather than with a faceless "PR Department" who is carefully crafting canned messages. Be authentic, be transparent & be realistic - those are key things to remember in social media.

Is Corporate Etiquette Dead?

2010-04-06T12:12:00.003-04:00

Ok...it's a pseudo rant:

So, apparently way back in '09 I sent an email to someone for booking services for an entertainment client of mine. Of course, as is the case if you find someone on Craigslist (yes I know, what was I thinking) you never hear back from them. No biggie right? Well, said "professional" sends me an email today...7 months later, asking me to ask the same entertainment client I referenced in my email to help promote their entertainment client. Said "professional" even had the nerve to include the original email I sent to them, with the time stamp on it.

Seriously?! It's amazing I'm even having this rant because this screams of extreme unprofessionalism. I'm a big believer in not contacting people for professional favors if I know for a fact that I ignored their email when they reached out to me - especially if more than 6 months has passed. There's something that just screams of opportunism & poor business etiquette to do so anyway. My issue with this offender is the following:

1. When I first emailed them, they never even emailed me back to say "thanks but no thanks". This is a must IMO because the offending party put an ad out on Craigslist looking for people to respond to them. So, at the very least (especially since they later came back to me looking for assistance) they are required to do that little bit of follow up.

2. To email me 7 months later, you don't have the right to come straight out and ask for a favor. You need to butter me up first.

3. If you're going to do a cold call approach like that, at least have the decency to delete the original message that I sent to you. If it was a normal interactive person where we had communicated back and forth occasionally, leaving my original message would make sense. It would help to remind me of why we were chatting and encourage me to want to help you. Unfortunately, since I saw the time stamp and noticed that I had emailed this offender in September only to receive silence until they needed something, I was quick to shut them down.

This just goes to show that everyone wants to be in business but not everyone is professional enough to deserve to be in business.

When Keeping it "Real" Goes Wrong - Spring Edition...

2010-04-05T16:46:00.003-04:00

Ok...this isn't going to be like the angry rant I wrote after the Haiti earthquake...this one is more a funny inspection of how people get ahead of themselves...

So, it's finally getting warm in NYC...it's not summer yet, but the mercury is going up and hemlines & clothing are getting shorter, thinner & scarcer. I'll admit, the warm weather does get to your head, making you want to bare all and enjoy it...but please make sure you're ready for it before you decide to "let it all hang out". I've seen a number of offenders over the past few days and I just had to comment and call attention to these fashion don'ts.

1. 60 degree weather doesn't equal traipsing around NYC in a t-shirt and shorts - with no jacket in sight:
I get it, it's beautiful out, and since you don't have to wear a parka, you want the whole world to know how happy you are that it's no longer arctic outside. But get real...it's Spring...the weather is still fluctuating. So, you in a tank and shorts today means you'll be sneezing near me on the train getting other people sick because of your poor decision making skills.

2. Being so ashy that you could start a fire or be nicknamed "Ashy Larry":
If you don't know what ashy means then you need to check out Chapelle's Show. For those of us who do know...the fact is ash is no respecter of gender or race. Men, your skin gets dry - and fair skinned peeps...yes we can see the crust of ash on your heels...please...get thee to a Bath & Body Works. The point is you need to always be on point, dry skin is never in season. -_-

3. Feet that look like claws:
You knew when you put those flip-flops on that your feet were absolutely not ready to be shown off to the world - and yet you did it anyway. Shame on you. In the past week and a half, I've seen toes & heels that have seen better days. In a city like NY where there's at least 5 nail shops on every block, there is no excuse for this infraction. Maybe you can't afford a $50 mani-pedi at Bliss...or maybe you don't even want to get a cheapie mani-pedi at the local spot near your house. But the cost of buying a pumice stone, a cheap bottle of nail polish, a pair of nail clippers & cuticle nippers to do an at home pedicure shouldn't prevent you from getting your tootsies ready to hang out.

4. Wearing things that aren't complimentary to your shape:
Now that it's warmer out, there's no oversized coat to hide your dont's. Regardless of whether or not you choose to work out to stay in shape or not, don't let yourself be a Glamour black bar victim. Look in the mirror before you leave the house - if you pause or pull at the hem (or the waistline of your pants) it's a sign that you shouldn't be wearing whatever it is that you put on. And that's a dose of advise for people of all shapes and sizes. Fashion roadkill - much like ashy skin - is no respecter of gender or size.

Now go forth & enjoy the warm weather!

Books I Couldn't Finish!

2010-04-01T18:57:00.004-04:00

I'm an avid reader...I love reading a book so much just because it's like being transported to an alternate world - something of a stay-cation of sorts. I'm the type who doesn't mind taking a chance on buying books - although I usually only buy them on sale at Borders (my bookstore of choice since I have a rewards card there). Of course, there are some books by specific authors that I don't want to wait for a sale - I buy them ASAP because I know that the author is that good of a writer.

And then...there are books that I take a chance on that just fall flat. I'm pretty open minded in what I read (except for sci-fi or fantasy fiction), but sometimes...the book is so boring or so obnoxious that I can't even force myself to read the whole thing. Usually if the book can't hook me by page 100, then it's officially a bomb in my opinion. So...I felt like since I love to write about my fave books...it was time to write about the books I couldn't stand - and why:

Alexander Dumas' "The Man In the Iron Mask":
Yes, I know, it's a classic. And unfortunately I saw the movie first. However, I only made it to page 68 before I couldn't take it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I've read many a weighty classic novel where the author spends far too much time being descriptive...but this book was pretty excessive in it - maybe 2nd only to "Tess of the D'Urbervilles" (a novel I was actually forced to read in my high school English Lit course...a serious yawn IMO). And if it wasn't the excessive descriptions, it was the odd back and forth dialogue between the condemned man and one of the Musketeers. I'm a quick study but it was hard to follow...

Ian McEwan's "Atonement":
I DID NOT watch the movie first, and still haven't to this day. I got to about page 125 before I lost total interest in it. Once again...the action took so long (and actually even by chapter 9 the action still hasn't picked up momentum) to get to the point that I decided that I had lost interest in both the book and movie version. At some point, I'll pick this read up again, but it was a plod - and I've been known to read a 500 page book in a week if I like it.

Charles Dickens' "Bleak House":
I have to admit, I'm not a huge Dickens fan, but I bought this book when I was on a classics kick. I had just finished reading "Anna Karenina" and a ton of Jane Austin novels and was excited to delve into the social commentary that makes Charles Dickens so amazing. Plus, I remembered how much I loved "A Tale of Two Cities" in high school. Sadly, poor Charles couldn't keep my attention past page 160. It was well written but just terribly boring...I remember reading this book on my morning commute when I used to work a 9-5 and falling asleep on the train because it was that slow...& dry.

Richard Yates' "Revolutionary Road":
I originally avoided watching the movie and just bought the book to attempt to read it first. I got up to about 10 pages and gave up. Then I watched the movie and actually found the movie interesting so I decided to give the book another try. Personally, I'm glad I watched the movie first, just so I could get an idea of where the book was trying to go - and to be honest the movie is equally slow with a "where are they taking this plot" kind of feel. Most of the action in the book happens in everyone's minds since "Revolutionary Road" is more of a social commentary on the whole "idealized vs. reality" of the 1950s era in the US. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if there's very little real interaction between characters...it can make for a tortuously slow and painful read. Such is the case with "Revolutionary Road". After trying again to read the book, I made it about halfway to page 236 before becoming too bored to finish it.

Alyssa Brooks' "Hard to Get":
Normally, I love romance novels - historical or otherwise. Of course I love classics and "thinking" books, but there are times when nothing is better than a mindless read with handsomely perfect male characters & damsel in distress leading ladies. And I love romance novels with awesome love scenes in them. If you read my book "Mind Games" you would know this is true! However, this novel bordered on cheap tawdry porn style dialogue, descriptions and sex scenes. I can't even see the last page I dog eared in this book because I'm pretty sure I gave up after chapter 1 (which couldn't have taken me far past pg 10). The plot even for a romance novel was pretty thin from what I remember and the lead character acted more like a man than anything else...grabbing guys in their crotches and just being entirely unappealing IMO.

Elizabeth Brundage's "The Doctor's Wife":
There's something about taking too long to get to the point of a novel that irritates me. And once again, this was the cause of my ditching this novel for something more appealing. I almost made it to page 85 before I decided that the good doctor and his wife were too obnoxious for me to even want to care enough to finish reading their story.

Umberto Eco's "The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana"
This one was really my fault! I should have avoided buying a novel that's cover looked like a comic strip. I'm not into graphic novels at all, and although this novel is nothing of that sort...it was just too much to keep reading. All I remember of it before I did a giant eye roll and shoved it back onto my bookshelf was that the lead character had lost his memory and I was being forced along a roller coaster of BS with him as he tried to regain it. Once again, around page 55, I gave up.

Seriously I have a bookshelf that is overflowing with books...so these few ones that didn't make the grade doesn't even equal 1% of all the books that I've read for pleasure. For the most part, slow or no action was the culprit in draining my interest. But even though I didn't like these novels, it doesn't take away from the author. And ultimately, I'm just glad that I buy most of my books for a bargain...I can't be upset if I only spent up to $10 at the most for a book that ended up being a dud.

The Difference Between SPAM & Junk Mail...

2010-03-31T09:56:00.005-04:00

So as you know, I used to work in the field of direct marketing - a niche of the marketing industry where living in grey areas is pretty much the norm. Direct marketing is the field where the general public doesn't know what you really do for a living, but once they do, you probably get as much grief as lawyers and IRS employees do at a dinner party. Incidentally, if you don't know, direct marketing is the use of physical or virtual mail, signage & advertising to promote commercial products and/or services to the general public. You know all those obnoxious flyers you get in the mail or "would you like to refinance your mortgage" emails you receive? Yup...those are all forms of direct marketing.

Anyway, my point in posting today wasn't to defend the direct marketing industry, but to bring up a huge point that seems to be a major disconnect between the general public and the marketing industry - specifically those in the direct marketing sub-niche. There is a HUGE difference between SPAM and junk - the two are NOT synonymous.

So, why the rant? Ok here goes: I practically live on LinkedIn - a social networking tool entirely for business professionals. There are no trivial posts here about "walked my dog today". This is entirely people just posting and connecting to increase their network and hopefully strike a few business deals & acquire clients in the process. Much like Facebook, they have targeted groups where you can connect with a specific set of people who supposedly share common interests with you. But lately, there seem to be a lot of people on LinkedIn who can't tell the difference between true SPAM and just a junk post that isn't relevant to them.

So, let's define what SPAM truly is. SPAM is any unwanted email sent to you by a party who you have no connection to and did not request communication from them. And before you say "but I didn't want that email for home refinance"...slow down. See, there's a huge grey area when it comes to marketing over the topic of 3rd party acquisitions of consumer contact info. The marketing agency sending you those (yes I'll say it) obnoxious emails about refinancing your home didn't just randomly find your info. They bought it and not from some unscrupulous dealer who you've never heard of - but from social network sites, dating sites and even ESPs (Email Service Providers). Don't believe me? Mosey on down to the privacy policy of any website and 9 times out of 10 there's some verbiage saying "we reserve the right to share your information with only our trusted partners". "Trusted partners" is a white wash term for "the highest bidder". So, technically, when you join FaceBook, JDate, etc. etc...you're unknowingly opting in to be contacted by these companies' "trusted partners". Sucks doesn't it?

So by default, those messages aren't spam but junk mail. Why? Because it's not relevant to you but it's not technically unsolicited. To bring this back to LinkedIn...recently, there have been a number of business people who complain when someone in a group makes a post that simply outlines what they do because people feel it sounds too "pitchy" rather than being a "deep meaningful discussion". Suddenly, the poster is accused of "SPAMming" the group. This grates on my nerves because in this scenario too, this is not SPAM. If you join a networking group for the express purpose of connecting with others to either increase your network, find new clients or broker new partnerships, why are you complaining when someone introduces themselves & their business?? By joining a group who's express purpose is to network, you're advocating anyone to pitch themselves. By these people's standards (regarding the complainers) anytime ANYONE makes a post that isn't relative to even just one person, it would fall under the title of SPAM. Put into perspective, how ridiculous does that sound?!

Now, I can understand when people post obvious junk messages about gaining 20,000 twitter/myspace followers in 5 hours or even posting multiple posts of the same topic within one group. That's pretty junky, and the average business is neither interested in or believes in claims like that because the ROI (return on investment) is pretty low if not non-existent. But to berate people for posting introductions about themselves & pitching their business seems entirely counter intuitive for a site like LinkedIn which is supposed to be for business professionals anyway. Is it really that hard to ignore the message and/or delete it? Apparently so...

But that's just my opinion! ^_^

So Tired of Social Media Getting the Black Eye!

2010-02-26T18:05:00.004-05:00

Okay,

So, unless you've been living under a rock and you have absolutely no clue who I am, you should know that I'm a social marketer. But not in the traditional sense - and I find myself saying this quite a bit...so we need to delve into social media: what it is, what it is perceived to be, and what it isn't in terms of what I do.

I came across an article that talked about the do's and don'ts of Twitter. Of course, that's nothing new. If you hang around sites like Mashable or MediaPost, you'll see a number of "do this - not that" articles as it pertains to social media. But here's the real deal - there's no perfect answer. Social media is an ever changing field, I liken it to some fabled game that children come up with at the beginning of the Summer. As the Summer progresses, the rules, objects and final outcome end up being something entirely different than what was intended when the Summer began.

First of all, don't get caught up in the hype, social media has been around for years. As soon as AOL and Prodigy burst onto the scene, and showed people what a chat room and discussion board was, that was the TRUE birth of social media - not Facebook (sorry guys), not Myspace, etc. People were able to quickly exchange ideas with each other in a virtual world without having to have prior history to the receivers on the other end. Fast forward a few decades, and those old school forums and chat rooms have morphed into something more state of the art. With the advances in mobile technology and Internet speeds, our dependence on the Internet (whether from a home computer or our mobile phones) increased dramatically. And the reigns of control definitely shifted. It used to be the marketer's responsibility to not only determine the ideal demographic for a message, but to create and control the spread of that message.

As technology advanced, and the consumer realized how easy it was to add their two cents, the consumer's opinion of all content became extremely important. In fact, it became so important that marketers began to realize that they could actually rely on the consumer to carry the message farther for them by building trust and aligning their brands with early adopter and influential consumers. THIS IS SOCIAL MEDIA.

Social media is not sitting on Facebook/Myspace/Twitter like a tool and sending 10,000 updates every day which are neither relevant nor interesting to a target market (if these people even bother to define their market before they launch a "campaign" if it can be called that). And this is the mis-represented form of social media that I hate because people assume that this is what I do all day.

So, I'm a social marketer because I use the same mediums that consumers use to "hang out for fun" (Internet, mobile and TV) to promote my clients' products. But I do not spend all day sending pointless updates on Facebook/Twitter/etc. I focus on entertainment content, whether that's music, film, episodic shows, animations, etc. As long as it's original, I can promote it which I do very well! I partner with entertainment aggregation firms that act as platforms where consumers regularly visit to learn about what's new in the market (this translates into sales). Unlike Facebook, where it's easy for fly by night marketing firms to fake hits/traffic, the companies I partner with actually can verify that traffic, prevent bot attacks or large amounts of erroneous traffic. How can I stand by this claim? Because the same stats that I use to prove the traffic that my clients are getting are the same stats these companies need to use to substantiate their rates to advertisers or to pay out on revenue share agreements they have with my clients. So, faulty stats equals paying on fraudulent activity or losing advertisers because of excessive fraud.

But to get back to the deal on social media, when I do post to Facebook, Twitter, etc...it's to link back to my serious partnerships. Always link fluff with something concrete. If you have a magazine interview link, by all means, post it on Facebook! Give people a reason to really read your posts, don't just push junk at them. And likewise, have something of substance to substantiate your attempts at social media. Because to serious firms, telling them that you have 20,000 Twitter followers or hits on your track on Myspace, it sounds like a joke. Real marketers know that those numbers can be easily bought, so you're not instilling confidence in people when you boast about empty numbers like that.

And the final goal of social media is to humanize your brand. So, most importantly, don't just act like a robot and only post about work related items. If that's what you're doing, then don't be surprised if you don't get much traction from your work. People love to see you being productive, but they want to know that you're human too. Let people know that you have a life outside of work, even if it's through responses to posts on your board or a few random commentaries about things you see or experience in daily life. You'll be amazed how some of those "pointless" posts will actually encourage others to follow you or promote your content even further than your network.

International Chocolate Mint Day?!

2010-02-21T11:53:00.002-05:00

Okay,

So somehow I missed the official Chocolate Mint Day?! I don't know how it happened, as I am a self described choc-o-holic, but it did - for inquiring minds, it was Friday February 19th! So, in honor of that, I'm making chocolate chip cookies today. And if I can find some mint flavoring, you bet I'm tossing a dash of it in there to make them extra special.

In honor of the awesome day that was chocolate mint day, you can check out Pie Bird's blog which has tons of recipes commemorating this amazingly sweet confectionery invention!

A Weekend Spent Cooking!

2010-02-14T15:21:00.002-05:00

So, if you don't know by now, I'm a huge fan of cooking. I love to cook, but of course, only when people are around for me to cook for them. So, this weekend, I did an appetizer, and an awesome pasta dish. Just a quick note...I don't typically measure, so if some of these recipes don't have exact measurements, now u know why!:

The Appetizer - Guacamole:

Ingredients:
2 ripe avocados
4 cherry tomatoes
three small sweet chili peppers
1/8 sweet bermuda red onion
Adobo
salt
pepper
crushed red pepper seeds
lime juice

To make:

1. Dice tomatoes, peppers and onion into very small pieces. Combine.
2. Slice avocados into workable pieces in a large bowl (There's no special way to cut the avocados so don't go crazy trying to peel them! My method is to cut them in half, and use a knife to separate the flesh from the skin. Slice the avocado into pieces and put in the bowl).
3. Mash the avocado into a paste like consistency - it's your choice how chunky you want the guacamole to be.
4. Mix the veggies into the mashed avocado paste.
5. Add salt, pepper, crushed pepper and Adobo to taste. Mix.
6. Add a splash of lime juice (or lemon juice) to the guacamole to keep it from turning brown!

The Pasta Dish - Fusilli with Spinach and Mozzarella Cheese
*This is a remix of a recipe I saw on Giada's "Everyday Italian" show!! Her's just had spinach, tomatoes, asiago cheese and the fusilli.

Ingredients:
1 box fusilli pasta
cherry tomatoes
spinach (either fresh or frozen)
broccoli (fresh or frozen)
garlic (fresh)
olive oil
fresh mozzarella (or packaged, but not the shredded kind!)
shrimp (fresh or pre-cooked frozen)
basil
oregano
salt
pepper

**If you're using frozen shrimp, defrost the amount you want to cook by letting it sit in cool (not hot!) water for at least 5 minutes. Depending on how long the shrimp has been frozen, you might need to let the shrimp sit for longer than 5 minutes.)

**If you're using frozen broccoli or spinach, you need to defrost it before you start cooking with it!

1. Create a marinade for the shrimp by combining salt, pepper, oregano and basil in a zip plastic bag along with the shrimp and olive oil. Shake/mix so that the shrimp are evenly coated. Let sit.

2. Chop the broccoli, spinach (if using fresh spinach), tomatoes, and garlic. Combine in a skillet pan with olive oil. Add salt, pepper, basil, and oregano and sautee on medium heat.

3. At the same time, heat water for the pasta. (some people choose to salt the water, I don't but this is up to you)

4. Once your spinach begins to wilt, add the marinated shrimp to the pan and continue sauteing.

5. Around the same time that you begin cooking the shrimp your water should be hot enough to begin cooking the pasta...the level of cooking is up to you (al dente or fully cooked - I like mine al dente!)

6. Once the shrimp is done (pre-cooked shrimp should be ready to go in 5 - 10 minutes max!) begin adding pieces of mozzarella to the pan and reduce heat so you don't overcook the shrimp.

7. Once your pasta is cooked, drain it and then return it to the pot. Combine the sauteed shrimp and veggies from the skillet and mix thoroughly. Add additional salt,pepper and/or olive oil to taste.

Enjoy!

It's a Multi-Post Day....When Twitter Goes Wrong (an EPIC FAIL moment)

2010-02-14T15:10:00.003-05:00

Thanks to a friend of mine who is an avid Engadget reader, I was forwarded this link:

http://www.engadget.com/2010/02/13/puppy-tweets-will-turn-your-pooper-into-a-world-class-twitterer/

Now, I love Twitter, and I love my yorkie...but that doesn't mean that the two should somehow be combined. In case you didn't check out the link, the toy genius company Mattel who brought you the most popular little girl doll (Barbie) have created a new "Twitter-linked" doggie collar that will send updates to the Twitter universe. These updates will be based on what your dog is doing, and thanks to the "smart motion chip" in the collar, we can now know when your special pup is peeing, pooping, licking himself or just scratching behind his ears.

This is a FAIL because:

1. I don't care to know what my dog is doing every second of the day
2. What makes you think everyone else wants to know what your dog is doing every second of the day?

Nice try Mattel, but highly unnecessary!

Great Moments in EPIC FAILure Continued! February Edition!

2010-02-10T18:18:00.004-05:00

This was just too funny and messed up to NOT include in my "great moments of EPIC FAILure" piece.

So, for those of you who know, the clothing retailer, Wet Seal markets predominantly to teen girls. Their older version (in price and design) is Arden B. Anywho...Wet Seal tends to have customers anywhere from as young as 10 to anyone older who can fit the clothes. I don't mind Wet Seal. Not only did I use to work there back in the day, but they have some decent items that from time to time, I don't mind getting at a reasonable price.

But that's not why Wet Seal made it onto my EPIC FAIL list! Ok...so, if you market to teen girls, why are you selling garter belts? This isn't the Victorian Age! We don't wear stockings that don't stay up on their own. Garter belts aren't a necessity anymore - it's a sexy accessory meant to be seen by your special someone.

Soooooo...is Wet Seal trying to promote being sexy to impressionable teen girls?! Are they trying to tell these impressionable girls that they should be revealing their unmentionables to people? Even if it's just a special occasion in honor of Valentine's Day, it's still in poor taste & bad judgement!

So, let's welcome Wet Seal to my growing list of "Great Moments in EPIC FAILure"!

2009 Wrap Up - Better Late Than Never!

2010-02-02T01:37:00.003-05:00

Ok...so yeah it's officially February, and I should have done my "best of" posts in December or January. But better late than never I always say!

Anywho, I wanted to do a recap of my 2009 experience, sort of a highlights reel of things that were the best moments and/or turning points that really helped to reposition myself in life & more. So, without any extra ramblings, here's my top list starting from January '09 and moving forward:

March: I finished my first draft for my book, Mind Games. I was so excited...it was my first book and a major accomplishment. I never thought I could find enough to write about to fill up enough pages to be considered a book - but I did! ^_^

April: I quit my 9-5 Hallelujah! Even now, I get such a thrill remembering the way I felt when I walked out of my old job - especially since I had barely been there for an hour. I don't know why, but on the walk to the subway, I kept thinking of the final scene in Braveheart where Mel Gibson's character screams "FREEDOM" really loud...I felt such relief and a feeling like an old depressing chapter in my life was over and that the best was yet to come! Which was true because that same day I went home, got a call and had people already asking me to consult with them. Incidentally, the following week I had LASIK which was awesome & money well spent!

June: I partnered with Microsoft's Windows Media Guide division for my company Big Apple Style Marketing. It was the first serious partnership with a major Fortune 500 international firm and made me feel awesome. It's one thing when you make deals and handle business for someone else's business - it's quite another when it's your own company!

August: I release the website for my company, Big Apple Style Marketing - this is mostly important because I pretty much did the website myself. ^_^ And it's not like I'm a real graphic designer, or live on Photoshop or Dreamweaver either.

October: I sealed the deal for 3 clients to perform overseas - in Japan no less! And to put the icing on the cake, they were offered residency performance opps (they're DJs). I definitely felt a sense of accomplishment!

November: Japan Trip 2.0 for Japan Music Week. There's something nice about traveling without having to play "mother may I" like when I used to have a 9-5. There's also something nice about not having to sneak in your own personal work while at someone else's company. When it's yours, you don't have to hide!

December: Typically the time between Thanksgiving and post New Years can be a really dead time for a lot of companies - since the heavy hitters aren't around to broker deals. So, not the case for me this past December. I was so busy...and had so much business being thrown my way that I'm still doing follow ups and it's February now! ^_^

When Books Are Better Than the Movies!

2010-01-25T21:16:00.006-05:00

I love reading, and clearly I love books, I wrote one. And it's been a while since I've actually read something that wasn't my own book. Anywho...my new book of the moment is "The Boleyn Inheritance" by Philippa Gregory. I read "The Other Boleyn Girl" by the same author last year - before I watched the movie and it was an awesome read. Although it is a long book, don't let the length put you off from reading it. And, most importantly, if you didn't like the movie version of "The Other Boleyn Girl" (like me) then I highly recommend that you read the book.

"The Boleyn Inheritance" picks up after the death of Anne Boleyn (Henry VIII's 2nd wife) and just before the marriage of Henry to his 4th wife Anne Cleves. As is the case in a lot of royal families and their court, all the main characters, and many sub characters, are related. The story, as in the vein of "The Other Boleyn Girl" is told in first person, but from the perspectives of three women who are all related in some way to the Boleyn family (either marriage, distant relations, etc.) and are integral members of the King's court in some way (don't worry - no spoilers here).

Gregory is a good writer, able to create intrigue with just the first very short chapter, and much like "The Other Boleyn Girl" has created a book that although is long, reads more like a quick beach read. History is kept on track while bringing to life the stories of a number of people who have been in the history books since the 1500s. She creates convincing personalities and manages to make you feel one way or the other about certain characters...some are hopelessly naive, others are obnoxious, and some allow you insights into their personalities because they were minor characters in "The Other Boleyn Girl". I'm only a 3rd of the way into "The Boleyn Inheritance", but I'm definitely looking for excuses to commute on the train so I can read more of the book!

Is it still a New Year's Resolution in the middle of January?!

2010-01-18T17:07:00.002-05:00

A short and sweet post today...

So, originally I made my New Year's resolution to be "to travel more". So far, I have 3 stamps in my passport - 2 for Japan and one for Canada. But this year, I really want to go as far around the world as I possibly can - to the point where I need to request new pages in my passport!

Then today, I was in Borders and I picked up a Japanese language book - to learn the language of course! And so, another resolution that I'm adding is to learn Japanese (not just to speak it but to read & write as well)...so I can travel more to Japan and be fully functional - rather than looking for English sub-texts! Of course, I'm also going to try to do this while continuing to learn Korean at the same time...we'll see how this goes! ^_^

When Keeping it "Real" Goes Wrong

2010-01-13T17:09:00.003-05:00

Ok...normally I don't get political (or even very serious) on my blog...but something I saw today really irritated me to the point that, if nothing else, I needed to vent. So sorry, but this is a somewhat long post tonight...

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last 18hrs or so, you know that Haiti has suffered a major blow over the last 24hrs with a series of gigantic earthquakes and aftershocks that not only rocked the capitol of Port-au-Prince, but will also seriously take a toll on their governmental structure, etc. as well. And unless you have a heart of stone, your heart can't help but go out to the country and its people, as well as a need to want to do something. Clearly, now wouldn't be the time to be a douche and do (or say) something inflammatory just to gain ratings...

Unless of course your name is Pat Robertson. Let me preface this rant by saying 1. I was a US Civil War History minor in college (which included the study of slavery in the Caribbean because no study of slavery in the US is complete without studying the islands too) and 2. I'm a Christian but I have NEVER been a fan of Pat Robertson as I find him obnoxious, archaic and someone who is far too in love with the sound of his own voice.

As I was Twittering for info this afternoon, I came across this link of Pat Robertson, giving his "thoughts" on the earthquake and the reasoning for it.

http://www.breitbart.tv/they-have-been-cursed-pat-robertson-says-haiti-swore-a-pact-to-the-devil/

**In case you're too lazy to watch the clip above, Pat basically says that because early Haitians made a pact with the Devil to root the French of out Haiti in the late 1700s, they are now being dealt a path of wrath and destruction as a result**

Now, whether or not you believe that the early Haitians made a pact with the Devil is really irrelevant, as you're probably never going to find a true historical book that will mention that little bit of cultural lore. What IS relevant here, is the fact that Pat manages to totally gloss over the serious historical context surrounding the liberation of Haiti, the devastation that is currently happening in Haiti & the fact that the majority of Haitians today identify themselves as Catholics.

First of all...it's not like the African descendants in Haiti asked to be brought to Hispanola. Pat manages to totally ignore the fact that slaves in the Caribbean were by far treated worse than slaves in the Americas. Whereas in the Americas slaves were actually encouraged to create community ties and build families (a form of control enacted by Southern slave owners - more on that on a later date), this wasn't encouraged in the islands. Slaves in the islands were worked much harder than in other regions (Google "Black Code in Haiti" for more details on the treatment of island slaves).

And because all the slave ships stopped off at the islands, those driving the slave trade (the French in Haiti) didn't concern themselves about the longevity of their slaves' lives. If someone died, it was no big deal to them because there was a steady supply of fresh labor coming into the islands. Families and/or entire villages who were brought from Africa were split up and sold to the highest bidder either to work in the Caribbean or to continue their journey to the Americas where they would once again be sold to the highest bidder.

To hear Pat tell the story, the slaves suddenly just woke up one day and no longer wanted to be slaves - "just because". Pat...where was your back story to put your one liner statement into context?!!! Real truth: the slaves went through generations of degradation and marginalization before finally having the opportunity to take their chance at gaining their freedom.

But what is really irritating to me about Pat's highly snap response to this situation, is that he claims that the Haitians have brought this current natural disaster on themselves by dabbling in the dark magic/etc. So, then Pat...how are the French being punished for the exploitation and unnecessary deaths of so many people? What about the Dutch, Spanish, Portugese and British? They too had a hand in the slave trade. The Spanish were known for encouraging indigenous Indians in the islands, North and South America to convert to Catholicism only to burn them at the stake later. Or how about President Andrew Jackson who believed that the only good American Indian was a dead one? Where is the wrath and retribution for that?

And to use his vein of thinking that "you get what you give" does that mean that America is in a deep recession and has all these crazy things happening because our founding fathers (and not just during the inception of the Constitution or our country in 1796) thought that anyone who wasn't of European descent didn't deserve rights? Are we as a country of people who are bred from generations of past wrongs done by our forefathers now facing all these problems because of the Trail of Tears, Manifest Destiny, the Mexican American War, the inscription of Irish immigrants into the Union military and the subjegation and exploitation of African slaves?! According to his form of thinking, America should be a hell hole - our currency has Masonic imagery all over it, there are rumors of a Presidential secret society and the prosperity that we enjoy as a nation was definitely built on the blood, sweat, tears and abuse of various groups over the course of our nation's history.

The problem I have with Pat Robertson's argument is that he speaks based off of a series of half truths. He glosses over the injustices of one group perpetuated against another just so he can make a point and hopefully receive more ratings. And sadly, because his audience is more than likely an older set of Americans who aren't going to fact check his statements (but rather take it at face value), or probably know as little about their own Christian faith as some random joe on the street claiming they're not terribly religious will possibly go around spewing insanity based on half truths because "Rev. Pat Robertson" said it. At a time when what the people of Haiti need most is assistance and positivity, we have loons like Pat Robertson creating a new "excuse" for hatred and bias.

Bottom line - one thing I learned after all my years of schooling was, if you make an argument, make it complete. And if you can't examine both sides of the coin and produce references for your claims, maybe you had best let that coin lay in the dirt. I really hope the media picks this sound bite of his up and rakes him in the mud for it. He's doing a huge dis-service to Americans, Christians and anyone's potential perception of the Haitian culture who might have an impressionable mind. Haiti needs help right now, not your lunacy.

Great Moments in EPIC FAILure Continued!

2010-01-11T17:20:00.003-05:00

EPIC FAIL strikes again! Yes, I have a snuggie...but what is this ish?!

www.nuddleblanket.com

A Shameless Self Plug!

2010-01-10T23:12:00.006-05:00

Yes, It's a shameless self plug, but I'm so happy that I was finally able to get it up and running on Amazon that I don't care. The book I started writing in November of 2008 is finally available for download as an e-book on the Kindle and Kindle for iPhone app!

The Book: Mind Games

About: Set against the backdrop of one of the most mysterious secret organizations in the world, this story focuses on how one person’s actions can deeply affect everyone remotely connected to them. In Mind Games, no character is perfectly good or completely evil, and nothing is as it appears.

Also, 10% of all book sales go to a very worthy charity - Building Community Bridges! They work to build water pumps to provide clean drinking water for the members of West African villages. www.bcombridges.org

More Great Moments in EPIC FAILure....

2010-01-05T19:51:00.005-05:00

^^Yet again, the Snuggie (or variations of it) makes my list. This is just too funny and comes to us thanks to my favorite vacay spot - Japan. Yes, this guy does look warm...but...practical? I think not! The leg holes and hoodie aspects are a good innovation and reduces the "I look like I'm wearing a robe" feel of the original Snuggie design. But....where are the arm holes? How is he supposed to do anything? If the phone rings, if he wants to change the channel, or if he just wants to eat something, it's utterly impossible!! Unless of course, he unzips the legs (haha) and risks getting his legs and arms cold.

So...this is upgraded to EPIC FAIL for creating great innovation but failing to maintain its practicality. It's also much more expensive than the Snuggie...errrmmm no thanks I'll stick to my felt-y robe. ^_^

Epic Fail Moments Caught on Camera...

2010-01-04T10:40:00.003-05:00

^^Seriously?! That reminds me of those Russian dolls where you keep opening them only to find yet a smaller doll inside. Cute when it's a toy, NOT cute when it's food. :-/

^^Creepy & mutant looking...I posted this on my FB page but I'll say it again because it bears repeating. I have a snuggie & love it...but this snuggie for "Mommy & Me" is disturbing to say the least. Yes, it looks like the scene from Aliens when the mini-alien pops out the dude's stomach. This picture is made extra creepy by the zoned out look on the mom's face and the fact that the "snuggie" seems too tight around the baby - giving the appearance that the baby is trying to escape. :-/

Most Popular Word of 2009 is...

2010-01-04T10:36:00.002-05:00

EPIC FAIL - well actually that's a phrase. Yes, Yes, I know...officially "Twitter" was the most popular word. But I couldn't help but notice how this small little phrase started snaking it's way into common conversation much like when people started vocalizing net speak back in '07. (Who can forget hearing someone say, "OMG! TMI man!!!")

Anywho..."Epic Fail" is such a great phrase, and it sums things up so nicely...I will continue to use this little catch phrase in 2010! And to innaugurate 2010 and pay homage to the popular phrase of 2009...the next few posts are about Epic Fail moments. :)

A New BzzCampaign Review - L'Oreal Double Extend Mascara

2009-12-29T14:42:00.007-05:00

So, as most everyone knows, I'm a makeup junky. Anything that adds color, volume to my eyelashes, or "allure" to my face is something that I'm all about! So, when I got the offer to join a product review campaign for a new mascara product, it took less than 2 minutes for me to sign on as a participant!

L'Oreal has a new product, called Lash Boosting Technology. It's a two part effort - in the day time you use a base booster and mascara combo to make lashes look thicker and longer. And, at night, you use a lash boosting serum to help create thicker, fuller lashes. The claim: In as little as 4 weeks, you should begin to see thicker, fuller, stronger lashes, with less lash fall out when you remove your makeup - assuming you use the mascara and booster combo by day and the serum by night.

Well, I couldn't resist. I'm a fan of mascara, and am absolutely amped about the possibility of getting thicker & fuller lashes. I even plan to try eyelash extensions at some point, probably from Wink Eyelash here in the city. I just got the package which included a simple instruction guide along with the two part mascara (mascara and concentrated serum booster) and the nightly lash serum. So, here goes with the Day 1 review.

Pre Eyelash Pics:
As you can see, I have decent length and thickness already to my lashes - and yes, they naturally curl. :)

Ease of use:
I must say, it's pretty fool proof and quick enough to use. First you use the booster in the gold end of the mascara stick and coat the lashes. Simple enough! Then follow up with the actual mascara.

Results:
So far, I'm not a fan. Yes, my lashes look darker and longer, but they also feel plastic-y (eek!). In the past, I've been using Fiberwig - which I love. It really does make lashes look thicker and longer - yet keeps them feeling soft. Right now, I have hard lashes, and the mascara is so thick that it looks like a PSA for not using too much mascara. And, I have to add that I'm not a novice to makeup - I know how to apply mascara correctly. The mascara looked sooooo goopy I had to use my eyelash comb, which I practically never use, to attempt to separate my lashes.

I'm not counting L'Oreal's product out yet - as I still need to use the nightly serum and I still have a month to go of using this product. But so far, it's not looking to great. :-/

Extra important info: This product is hypo-allergenic and has been opthamologist tested as safe for people wearing contacts, etc - super important since I spent money to get Lasik this past Spring.

More reviews to come... :)

I love to cook...fried tomatoes as a side to my curry beef stew, beans & rice

2009-10-26T20:15:00.002-04:00

So,

This is a short but sweet post...

As many of you know my background is a "guess that ethnicity" game show. So, I have west indian and southern in my family tree. Tonight, as a sort of random homage to my roots I just made my first batch of fried tomatoes (no not green like the movie). Soooo tasty...omg...the guys might be assed out as I sampled one and it was amaziiinnggg. :) Yummy! I'll post pics later :). Oh yes, and that is a side dish for my curry beef stew with red beans & rice.

Online dating in the workplace

2009-10-12T19:09:00.001-04:00

Online dating in the workplace

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Is your text a turn on or a turn off?

2009-10-07T10:37:00.001-04:00

Is your text a turn on or a turn off?

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The return of the ex...via your social network

2009-10-07T00:41:00.001-04:00

The return of the ex...via your social network

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Don't turn your dating profile into a fictional tale

2009-10-04T12:55:00.001-04:00

Don't turn your dating profile into a fictional tale

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Being a tech savvy dater

2009-10-03T13:23:00.001-04:00

Being a tech savvy dater

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The dater's guide to proper tech etiquette

2009-10-03T02:11:00.001-04:00

The dater's guide to proper tech etiquette

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Yay I'm about to start my own column!

2009-09-29T14:02:00.002-04:00

So excited today! I'm getting my own column on Examiner.com! I'm going to be the new "NY Tech Dating" columnist. Absolutely awesome since I used to do date coaching and I'm a big proponent of online dating and tech solutions to making the dating life easier! Once my first article gets approved I definitely plan on posting my article links up here for you guys to read and review!

Learning to Be Thankful...

2009-09-15T17:48:00.003-04:00

So,

I'm not a hardcore blogger like say my sis w/her Kitten Lounge blog (an awesome blog by the way) but when I do write, it's because I feel very inspired to do so. It's been roughly a month since my last blog post and I definitely have good reason to write today. Every once in a while, you come across something that really does inspire you or at least give you a reason to sit back and reflect on how much you have. And it reminds you to be thankful of everything that you've been given.

Now, I'm by no means an ungrateful person! People who know my life story know that I've been through enough to definitely count my blessings and thank God for taking me as far as He has. But, today I was sitting on the 5 train, minding my own business when I noticed a little old Jewish man sitting across from me. There was nothing extraordinary about him - he was slightly stoop shouldered, with a basic short sleeved button down and pants pulled up to his arm pits. In his own way, he was slightly adorable.

Now, by now, you're probably wondering why I emphasized the fact that he was Jewish - why couldn't he be just a "little old man"? Well, that's because on his left forearm, there was a tattoo there. And most people know I like tattoos, especially when they have a real significance. But, if you saw this man, you would agree with me when I say, there's no way this old man would voluntarily get a tattoo, especially on his forearm, and especially since it was just a series of numbers and letters, much like a product code.

So, through all my history classes, I had always learned about how in the Holocaust, people were tattooed with a number, much like product on a shelf, or cattle at a ranch. And considering that it's now 2009, more than sixty years after the end of WWII and the liberation of Jewish people forced into concentration camps across Germany and other parts of Europe, it was a real eye opener to see this man snoozing quietly across the train car from me, with a tattoo that represented a serious and embarrassingly shameful chapter in world history.

It's one thing to read about something in a book, or see it on TV, because in some ways, you're still distanced from it. Those atrocities you see happening to someone else - somewhere else; are just that - someone else's drama. But when you see a piece of history sitting in front of you, it really does blow your mind. It's a very sobering experience. As I sat there (since I was underground and could no longer get reception on my iPhone), I kept thinking - imagining what that man must have endured. To think - he must have been anywhere from a child to a late teen when everything happened. I can only imagine the stories he would tell - if he's even willing to tell them.

And I continued to think, about how easy it is to get so caught up in your own day to day drama and how doing so can totally warp your perspective. Seeing that little old man with his concentration camp tattoo, or meeting someone who's been through the genocidal situations in Africa, Bosnia/Croatia, etc - it really helps you to realize that no matter how bad things are here in the States, we still have the ability to take for granted that our rights will be heard. Even more, we can sleep soundly with the assurance that our rights even matter; that some arbitrary uprising won't happen. My biggest issue of the moment is finding a booking agent for Japan...there are people across the world who's biggest issue is simply surviving the night to see another sunrise.

Seeing this little old man on the 5 train today was just a reminder to me (although I already knew this) that life in all it's forms is severely precious. And, that we should never forget - whether it's the Holocaust, African subjugation in the Americas, tribal genocide in Africa, or ethnic cleansing from various centuries (including present day) in various locales. Life is precious, and it's something that should be respected and revered, regardless of the race/gender/age that it takes.

Blame It On Mickey D's...Or What Happened to Personal Responsibility?!

2009-08-10T21:58:00.003-04:00

So,

I just finished watching a two year old documentary on McDonald's where the US division was vilified for creating fattening foods that encourages obesity in children and everyone else who opts to eat at McDonalds. So...I found it interesting how many of the "obesity experts" were: 1. obese themselves (I guess that proves that they're an expert) or 2. refusing to blame parents for poor parenting skills...

So...I have to put this out there. Yes - McDonald's sells tons of "bad-for-you" food with a dash of "fake-good-for-you" food sprinkled in there too. However, there's such a thing as personal responsibility. Rather than bitching about how McDonald's sells bad food, how about complaining about how parents are such poor parents nowadays? Case in point: at one point in the documentary, a mother is quoted as saying (and I'm paraphrasing here) "We go to McDonald's at least 2x a week because little Joey (*name change) screams and cries until we go". Okay, now...if I had acted like that when I was little...I definitely wouldn't have been rewarded with a Happy Meal! Last time I checked, Mickey D's wasn't so starved for business that they were stealing children from the playground and force feeding them Happy Meals. :-/ So shame on the mom for being so weak kneed as not to be able to tell her child no!

But this goes hand in hand with the whole "pass the buck" mentality of this country. No one wants to take responsibility for driving (or walking) to McDonald's, eating crappy food, and bypassing the gym and any attempt at healthy living. It's much easier to complain and point the finger because your @$$ follows you around corners.

Sigh...well I for one don't intend to blame others for anything in my life unless there's real blame to place on someone. My eating and health choices are my own responsibility. And whenever I decide to have children, it'll be my responsibility (and their father's ) to install healthy eating and exercise habits.

Okay...that's my random rant for the month. :-) Comments, questions or random musings? Feel free to leave me a note!

Racy? Trashy? Confused?!

2009-07-30T13:56:00.003-04:00

Ok...

So, normally I don't make posts on current events, but this one just seemed so out there, I had to make a comment. In a few weeks there's going to be a Miss Universe pageant. Now, back in the day, I used to watch all the pageants - Miss America, Miss USA & Miss Universe. Not the teen ones tho...not really my thing.

Anyway, there's quite a bit of hubub about Miss Japan's "cultural costume". Actually...it looks something of a HAM (Hot Ass Mess) IMO. Personally, I'm in love with traditional kimonos and if I actually had somewhere to put the darn thing, I would have bought one and had it custom made when I was in Japan last year. Now...had the hemline on her kimono come down significantly further...I would be all over this outfit. But as is - heck no I won't go.

She's defending it as being edgy fashion, but it just looks slightly ermmmm cheap? But hey...what do I know...I just used to work in the fashion industry. In the Garment District. For strong performing lines. In New York. :-/ There's too much going on in this outfit...making it a FASHION FAIL.

But you be the judge! Tell me what you think!

OMG! It's Been a Minute!

2009-07-27T20:13:00.003-04:00

Ok....

So, it's definitely been a minute since I updated my blog. I've been super busy with work (in a good way since it's my own work!). And what have I been up to? The following:

So as everyone knows, I'm a social media marketer who officially started my own company (Big Apple Style Marketing) not that long ago. I prefer working with entertainers (musicians, artists, actors, DJs, etc.) and helping them to gain visibility as well as perfecting their "Google-ability" by enhancing their placement in natural search.

Over the past few months I've really made some great partnerships with major Internet content providers as well as mobile providers. So, now I'm in a perfect position to help emerging/new/hungry artists get their trade seen & heard by eyes & ears from around the world!

So, now that I've established those relationships, it's time for me to actually take the time to put my website together rather than working off of word of mouth (which has been good...but a 24-7 presence is awesome too!).

한국어 Begins Again!!!!

2009-06-06T12:09:00.002-04:00

Alright...

So, the saga with my Korean lessons has finally come to an end. Sadly, two weeks ago, my original Korean tutor returned to S. Korea since he realized that he couldn't afford college after being accepted to SUNY Buffalo. I know, a serious fml moment.

But, after two weeks of searching, I found a Korean tutor who speaks good English! Yayyyy. We met yesterday and after some directional issues (didn't realize the Columbia U area was so spread out), we finally met up. Even better, we'll be doing a lot of virtual sessions via skype. So, I'm really psyched because now I will be taking my Korean lessons much more seriously and hopefully soon, I'll be speaking it fluently! :)

A Maslow Epiphany!

2009-05-21T10:14:00.003-04:00

So, I was messing around yesterday doing nothing in particular when I had an epiphany. Back in high school, I spent my freshman year studying world literature and no one from North Central HS who was in the accelerated English course could forget these two books: Books that Changed the World (which I still have) and Literary World Encyclopedia (something like that - it had a globe on the cover). Those books covered everything from philosophers to some of the literary "greats" throughout the world. And one philosopher in particular who I remember very well is Abraham Maslow.

Don't know who Maslow is? Tsk tsk...go wiki him lol. But in short, he came up with a theory in the '40s that people's focus in life changes depending on their needs, and that it's impossible to focus on ephimerial things like "happiness" and "satisfaction" when your more basic needs (i.e. water, food, shelter, safety) haven't been met.

Relevance? Very relevant...because there's no rule that your position on Maslow's "Needs Heirarchy" is always going to be progressive. Depending on what's going on in your life, you can find yourself anywhere on the pyramid and you can find yourself going back to the same level more than once in your life depending on your situation. Also, you can be on more than one level at a time.

Relevance to me? Well after a bowl of Frosted Flakes, I was lounging, listening to the Today Show I realized that I feel as if I've reached the top of Maslow's theory. This is huge! There was a time when I couldn't think about anything except his lowest level - Security (food, shelter, home, etc.) because life was just that hard (no lie!).

But over the last year, I've been able to really focus on my happiness, my goals, just anything that I wanted to do - not just on surviving. And especially with the last few weeks, after quitting my job, I've really been able to "actualize" my goals and make them come true! While most people are asking me why I'm not freaking out about surviving, I'm actually just enjoying my life and focusing on "the bigger picture". So, having said that...I have some new rules for myself:

- I will never again set my net value as low as a yearly salary for a job.
- I will no longer put everyone else's goals ahead of mine!
- I will be more socially conscious - it's good to give back!
- My self respect is not for sale!
- I will work with integrity and respect - snapping out the side of your neck at any and everyone is not an acceptable way to work.

Sunglasses - NY & Co has awesome accessories!

2009-05-20T16:18:00.004-04:00

Well, I was out today earlier in the morning for a few appointments and did a quick dash into the NY & Co. on 5th Ave. I don't really buy their clothes because they don't fit me - but I LOVE their accessories. So, originally I went in to buy a purse but I didn't see anything that really moved me...but then there were sunglasses! :)

Okay, so I do have more expensive sunglasses - Diors and Dolce & Gabbana's. However, between just plain breaking them and my dog attacking the arms on my glasses, I don't always feel like buying designer frames. :-/ And I found some cute ones today at NY & Co. so no complaints there! The frames were originally $14.95 but with 30% off, came to about $10.95 each! And I think they're pretty cute so there! Check out NY & Co. if you're in the market for a new set of shades!

Yet another multi-post day!

2009-05-20T16:10:00.004-04:00

It's been a busy few weeks people!

I can't believe how much busier I am now that I'm not longer working a 9 - 5. Funny, but I still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, but at least I end my days with a feeling of contentment and satisfaction versus frustration like in the past. These last few weeks I've had a ton of developments for one of my clients and things are moving so quickly, that you shouldn't be surprised if in the near future you start seeing some major changes and new names on the celebrity scape!

Back in the day....

2009-05-14T12:53:00.002-04:00

Okay...who remembers the song that went:

"Back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore but somedays I still wish I was a kid again..."

It was a rap song...but I'm definitely feeling a nostalgic moment right now! I'm watching Ferris Bueller and they did the scene where Cameron and Ferris get Sloan out of school. They did a quick pan on an answering machine and Sloan had one of those '80s charm bracelets next to the machine!

Remember this I think we use to have a ton of those in the house! :)

I'm going to a reality show casting Friday! :)

2009-05-12T20:59:00.006-04:00

Yup, that's right I am! Hehe...

Normally I avoid reality shows for their overall cheesiness (sp). But this one is for dog owners who are social. Well I'm definitely social...and I have a dog! :) So, I will be going to a casting Friday with my Yorkie Jimmy Choo! I'll let you know how it goes! :)

And no...my hair isn't quite this big and curly anymore lol!

Another Multi Post Day! - the 헌국어 Sh*t Hits the Fan :-/

2009-05-12T20:53:00.002-04:00

Sigh.....

So, my Korean tutor finally got into an American college like he wanted to - SUNY Buffalo. Yayyyy right? Nope.

So, either way, he would have left the city and I would have had to find another tutor...but it turns out he didn't realize that u need $ to attend college here. So, he got the acceptance letter, but then realized that he didn't have the $ to afford it. I know...an fml.com moment right? So, instead of him leaving for Buffalo in the fall, he's leaving for South Korea --- NEXT WEEK!

Yike-rs...now I have to find another tutor...or find someone who can help him figure out the financial aid issue when your an international student...either way, it's an fml moment.

Mani-Pedi's & Goodies from Down Under!

2009-05-11T16:03:00.004-04:00

Mani-pedi season has officially begun for me! And for once I decided to explore my neighborhood and see what I could find on the cheap. Turns out that within two blocks of my house there are three nail shops...but only one of the three is (IMO) safe to use lol. Two of them just looked too run down and depressed to even want to trust my nail beds to. The other one was a nice small (although somewhat short staffed for a Saturday) and very clean salon called Rose's Nails. My only complaint was that they were super short staffed on the weekend, so a mani pedi that shouldn't have taken more than an hour (not including dry time) took much longer because I had to wait between my mani and the pedi.

Anywho, the ladies were very friendly (and I must say I was happy to start understanding what some of them were saying since they were Korean and I'm studying Korean -- oh yeah more drama with the Korean tutor but I'll post that separately *sigh*) and clean. They were constantly wiping and cleaning which makes you feel good. The shop was tiny - practically a walk in back out but it got the job done. In total I spent $26 for a basic mani-pedi and that included the tip. In the future though, I'll be going there only on Mon - Wed since they offer a mani-pedi for only $16. :)

On to my goodies from down under. So, as everyone knows...I LOVE eBay and I got this awesome find on there. it's a clutch purse made of straw and leather. I think for everything I spent maybe $10 including shipping. It took a bit to get here because I bought it from an Australian eBay store but it was soooo worth it. :) It's vintage and there's such minimal wear on it...me gusta! :)

It's going to look great with my spring/summer wardrobe! :)

Another Multi Post Day!

2009-05-11T15:54:00.005-04:00

Okay...so today is a multi-post day...Mondays typically seem to be with me anyway!

I'm so bummed I won't be able to go to DR (the Dominican Republic for those of who aren't up on your country shorthand) this weekend for my boyfriend's cousin's wedding. :( It would have been fun but stars and $ weren't aligned like I would have liked for them to be. Oh wells...which is why I'm dedicating this post to them because my boyfriend's cousin's fiancee chose the cutest wedding invitations and they deserve a post of their own.

Since they're doing a destination wedding, they chose passport themed wedding invites! Too cute right! And the actual invitation itself is formatted just like how a real passport would be on the inside too! See for yourself!

So congrats Mary & Peter...here's to a flawless wedding and an awesome marriage! :-D

An awesome twist on nameplate necklaces!

2009-05-09T20:03:00.005-04:00

Okay...

So earlier this year I met a cool crew of people on twitter --> @couchobjects. They're a UK based jewelry team that make nameplate necklaces out of black acrylic. They have some standard ones which you can buy from their Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6829806. The standard necklaces have cute phrases like "twitterati", "@me", "social", and "API". Very cute stuff!

But, what's hot is that you can also get customized necklaces so I decided to get a customized necklace with my twitter handle --> @bigapplestyle. So for a mere $30.00 I had a customized nameplate necklace designed! And two weeks later it arrived!

Unfortunately, it came broken. :( But the ladies at Couch Objects were so cool about it and refunded me for the necklace and offered to send me another necklace from their stock items for free. (very cool!). So, I picked up the "twitterati" necklace.

And yes, the necklace is quite a talking piece. Thankfully, my friend told me to try supergluing the broken necklace, and I did. So, now I have two awesome necklaces that are great talking pieces wherever I go. I highly recommend checking out Couch Objects!

My New Favorite Lipgloss! Smashbox O-gloss!

2009-05-05T14:34:00.003-04:00

Okay...

So last week I was in Sephora and I was in need of a "feel better buy". It was the day of my Mint car-sharing debacle and I was so PO'ed about it! Anywho...I saw an ad earlier in my Sephora email newsletter about a new lip gloss from Smashbox called O-Gloss that works off of your body chemistry to create the perfect pink tinted lip gloss color.

So, no lie, I was a tad bit skeptical. As anyone who is brown toned knows...sometimes colors that are toted as "awesome" for the fair skinned masses don't always come up to snuff for those of us with more melanin! So, I was at the Sephora in the Palisades and decided to give it a try. I smeared some on my hands (as I never put tester make up on my face - heeve skeeve that's like putting everyone's bacteria on your body!) and within a minute or so, a very sheer soft pink shade began to appear. It swipes on clear and then you feel minor tingling as it starts to take effect. I have it on in the pic below with the poor boy cap on but it was starting to dry up so I don't know how well you see it - but it was just a hint of color which, on my lips, I prefer. I'm more about doing the eyes up rather than my lips. :)

Okay, so now I'm in love with this stuff! I think it's around $20 a tube but so worth it! Smashbox also has a lip gloss with the same tint regulating properties but it also includes a lip plumper. Personally, I don't need a lip plumper (lol) however I'm sure it does wonders for those who do.

Verdict...big thumbs up! :)

Why I Love Buying from the Hong Kong Vendors on Ebay!

2009-05-05T14:09:00.004-04:00

So, as a lot of people know who know me, I LOVE Ebay! There's just something about that site that I love. And I don't use it to buy cheesy stuff like porcelain figurines or collectibles. Since joining Ebay back in 2004, I've been gathering Puma purses, cute leather accessories (gloves/hats/etc.), designer denim for cheap and recently a plethora (sp) of cute fashions from Korea, Japan and Hong Kong. Why? Well because the clothes from Asia tend to fit me better...and I know that they'll usually have styles that aren't as common over here, which means I won't see everyone and their mother wearing them over here.

And, that's no small feat considering I'm in NYC - where almost anything is available. :) So, a couple weeks ago, I ordered some accessories from this one Hong Kong vendor. A pair of black leather driving gloves and a vinyl poorboy cap. It took about 15 days (the only draw back of ordering from Asia) but it finally arrived today! I think including shipping, I might have spent $40 for both items. And oh yeah, the other reason I love shopping on Ebay - the grace period for submitting payment. It's nice to know that I can "Buy it now" or win a bid today but have usually up to seven days to submit payment. ;)

Today is a multi-post day!

2009-05-05T13:51:00.002-04:00

Yuck, it's gross out! But I have great news. :)

Today was my 1 week post LASIK eye exam and apparently everything is going just fine. Since Thursday I had been using the series of drops four times a day as instructed. Apparently, my corneas are healing so nicely that I no longer need to use the antibacterial and anti-inflammatory drops anymore.

From here on out, I only have to use the regular eye drops that are meant to keep my eyes from getting dry. Yay! And, as of Friday, I can start wearing make up again...which will be awesome since I love wearing make up. :)

Overall, my vision is pretty great. I get a few halos at night, but nothing horrible. My very far away vision is still a little blurry...but all in all...I am very satisfied...the money was well spent. :-D

1st Day After LASIK & Feelin' Fine!

2009-05-01T13:28:00.002-04:00

Okay!

So, as promised, I'm going to blog about my LASIK experience! Yesterday, April 30th, I went in for my LASIK surgery which was scheduled for 10AM. I arrived at the Laser One LASIK center on Park Ave around 9AM where I was walked through my post-op care step by step. I have to say, the staff there was really friendly and reassuring - something you really want because surgery in general is really intimidating. And, with LASIK, it's kind of scary because you're messing with your eyes!

Anyway, once I was there, I had another quick exam on my eyes to make sure that the notations that they made a month and a half before (although you don't have to wait that long between the exam and the actual surgery) hadn't changed. After two brief exams, I was given booties to cover my feet and a cap to cover my hair before I was led to OR - which was really chilly by the way so definitely accept the blanket when it's offered to you! Probably the only most nerve wracking thing is the waiting...because once you get started...it all moves pretty quickly.

The whole operation takes roughly 30 minutes, with 20 of those 30 minutes devoted to prepping the eye and verifying the calculations on the lasering machine before they get started. So when I first entered the OR, I was put on the operating chair - it reclines; and then given a blanket. I was also given the choice between hugging a teddy bear or these soft stress balls. I opted for the stress balls - and trust me, it's a good idea to take them just because, it gives you an outlet for your energy when you go through the procedure. Then I was given a series of antibacterial drops to clean the eye area as well as numbing drops.

I always find the numbing drops a bit wierd, because your lids feel heavy but your eyes feel nothing - so strange. Anyway, I was left to sit for a few minutes (5 maybe?) while the drops took effect. Then the prepping began! They covered my left eye while they prepped my right eye. First, they taped down my eyelashes - not an entirely uncomfortable feeling - but strange anyway. Then it was on to more drops to ensure that my eye was properly numbed. Then they put (and I don't even know how to explain it because this will sound horrific when it really wasn't) these spreader type wire clamps between my eye and eyelids (both upper and lower) to keep me from blinking and moving my eye more than necessary. No lie, this is THE most uncomfortable feeling you're going to experience in the prep stage. It's not to the point of pain, but it feels really unpleasant and takes a moment to adjust to this.

So, once you're eye is properly prepped, the fun begins lol. I was instructed to continue to focus my eyesight on the blinking orange light from the larger machine. First, my doc made a few markings on my cornea, outlining where the cuts were to be made and where to re-lay the flap. Then came the suction portion (read as an unpleasant experience). Thankfully, my doc talked me through the entire thing - but it's still a pretty unpleasant experience. This suction instrument is placed around the cornea and then it sucks on (literally) and you lose vision for a brief period (like literally seconds) from the pressure of the suction instrument while the flap is being created (so no...you don't see your eye being cut & thank God for that!). Then the suction is removed and the doc lifts the flap (which you see - it's freakishly wierd but cool at the same time.

Your vision gets obviously fuzzier (fyi I was really nearsighted...like on the -7 level) when the flap is lifted. Then the doc does some swabbing and rinsing to clean up the eye before the lasering begins. I was always told that the average laser time was around 30 seconds for most people...for my right eye, it was 47 seconds because of my extreme nearsightedness. It's wierd, because you can just barely see the laser working across your eye (it's a blue laser incase your curious!). But, once it's done, the doc returns the corneal flap to its original position and smooths it down so that it's a nice secure flap.

The flap heels on its own, so basically he just did some rinsing and smoothing - no stitches needed. Interestingly enough, once the flap was back down, I was able to see the orange blinking light that I had been staring at non stop for the past few moments much more clearly. Then it was time to remove those wire clamps and the tape that had been covering my eyelashes. The tape hurt when it came off (yikes! but I don't think that I lost any eyelashes!). Then I was given the antibiotic and steriod drop as well as this gel before I was instructed to keep my eye closed while they worked on the left eye.

The left eye was the same routine except that for some reason it was slightly more uncomfortable than the right eye. Probably five minutes were spent on each eye. Happily once the procedure was over...I could already tell that my eyesight was wayyy better than my original measurements. I could see the grid in the air conditioning duct above the operating area and I could clearly read the numbers on the clock across the wall. Then the doctor did a final post op exam to make sure that the flap was laid down properly.

So, I was instructed to go home and sleeep for 4 - 6 hours and then take a series of drops for the next four hours and lubricating drops every hr that I was awake. So, I got home around 12:30, and after lunch I went to be by 1pm. After waking up around 4:30, my vision was definitely better. I could clearly see everything. And for the most part, I felt like when I used to wear contacts and wear them too long. Where I could still see everything clearly but that it was a little cloudy from dryness.

The next day:

I had to go in for my post op exam. It was actually quite brief - barely 20 minutes. Everything is healing nicely and I'm due for another exam next Tuesday. My visionis improved - but I definitely still need the rewetting drops since my eyes feel dry. So, no make up til next Thursday, no rubbing my eyes for two weeks.

Overall, I'm very pleased with the results...being able to go back to normal life after just one day is phenomenal. My vision is supposed to fluxuate for the next week/week and a half but I love the results so far!

Mint Carsharing Not So Mint-y :(

2009-04-29T01:04:00.002-04:00

Hmmm,

I would say stay away from Mint (www.drivemint.com). I've been a Zipcar (www.zipcar.com) member since 2006, and decided to give Mint a try since they were promoting the whole "cars for as little as $2.00 an hour". Of course I knew that this was only going to be for the dinkyest (sp) of cars since I'm not in love with smartcars but I thought it would be great to have an occasional alternative to Zipcar. Anyway, I joined earlier in April and just had my first and last experience with renting a car from them. So I booked a car yesterday (Apr 27th) and everything was good.

I picked up the car today (Apr 28th) and "surprise surprise" the gas indicator is LAYING on E. Already I'm a bit pissed because with Zipcar, you have to leave at least a quarter of a tank or you could face fines. Mind you, I rented this car to make a much needed appointment that was scheduled for a few hours later - already I got the vibe that things were going downhill from here.

So, I realize that I need my membership number to get gas (if you're familiar with Zipcar, this is something they do as well). But the membership number isn't on the card. Well, Mint claims that they have an "OnStar" like system where you push this little button in the console and someone will "promptly" call you back. So, realizing that their version of the "copilot" doesn't tell me where I can find the member number, I push the button...and wait...and wait...and wait. Then I call the 800 number on the card...and get voicemail. (oh wait...it gets better)

I try again and finally get a live body who informs me that my membership number is the last four digits of my SSN. Okay, I understand that since it's a highly sensitive number, that wouldn't be printed on the card...but NOWHERE on the website does it say that either. So, there I am on my iPhone, struggling to search for some clue and I would have been S.O.L. until someone called me back.

So, now I'm driving around looking for a gas station in Manhattan, (mind you, possibly 20 minutes have gone by since I initially pushed that "Mint/OnStar-esque" service button) and someone calls me. Let's just call him "Joe". So, Joe is calling me back, on his cell phone while he's on the street...who has customer service calling you from the street? There was road noise in the background, and he was completely distracted. By this point, I already knew that I wasn't going to be relying on Mint for much of anything in the future. I thank him for the follow up and finish up the call.

Fast forward 20 min later, and I'm finally at a gas station (apparently 3pm in Manhattan is gas time because everywhere I went it was hard to find a space to pull up). So, I've got my gas...and now the car won't start...

Slightly frustrated because I'm now 40 minutes behind schedule and must now reschedule the appointment, I foolishly push the "Mint/OnStar-esque" button, assuming that surely someone will pick up now. Thankfully, I had something similar happen with Zipcar so I remembered what to do. So, now I'm back on the road and probably 20 minutes passed from when I left the gas station and I was finally well underway on the West Side Highway and guess who calls but "Joe". Joe then unceremoniously hangs up on me half way through our conversation when I complained about the poor customer service.

He then proceeds to call me on my cell (while I'm driving?!) and leaves a message. I had to make a pitstop at my home, so I check my messages and now Mint is telling me that by pushing the little Mint button in the console, I have somehow ended my reservation.

So, I call Mint and get a live body who transfers me to Joe. Once on the phone with Joe, he basically says I need to return the car so that I won't receive charges, and completely glosses over the poor customer service that I received. In fact, his response to me was "we have 6 people here manning the customer service phones so they were probably busy which is why they couldn't get to you." When I complained about the car being literally on empty, he said "oh well I don't know what you want me to do about that, it's something that we can't control" and then when I complained and compared it to Zipcar proceeded to tell me that Mint has 30,000+ members (and I highly doubt that can all be in NYC with them barely having 30 cars in Manhattan) who all said that they left Zipcar because they received poor customer service from them (Zipcar). He then proceeds to chastise me for not picking up my cell phone and not having a bluetooth piece (which by the way Mint claimed came standard with the Honda Accord that I had reserved but I don't remember seeing it anywhere so whatev I guess) so that I could complete the call.

It irked me that I couldn't reach someone when I needed them the most (while I was on the road) and when I continued to try to clarify that point, "Joe" then said "we don't need members like you". Oh, and did I forget to mention that you can't extend a reservation because you won't be able to find a reservation even when you log in?! I was forced to extend the reservation because of the time I lost in the city struggling with this car that didn't have gas and locked up at the gas station and was forced to create an entirely new reservation for the additional hours that I needed.

Wow...that's all I can say...I've worked around people and in customer service positions all my life and I can't imagine ever saying that - especially when my complaint was founded. What if I had been in an accident and needed to contact them or the car had been stolen? It's not comforting to know that Mint calls you back when it's convenient because they only have 6 people manning the phones. And, rather than owning up to their incompetence/poor planning, they get people on the phone who yell at you for not saying "oh well these things happen". Maybe if it had just been one lone issue, (like just the gas and nothing more) I wouldn't be so pissed...but it was one thing after another.

My verdict - you get what you pay for. I see now why they offer rates as low as $2.00 per hour - because their customer service is seriously lacking. Maybe other people have had great experiences, and if so congrats to them. However, I'm no newbie to the car sharing game. I've never put a call in to Zipcar and gotten voicemail nor have I gotten a car with less than a quarter tank of gas. And I've never had a customer service rep YELL at me no matter how flustered I might be on the phone.

As I promised "Joe" I'm writing about my horrible experience in the hopes that people know about this company that's masquerading as something professional when it's clearly not. I'm not saying that Zipcar is 100% perfect because sure, there have been times where I was like "why?" However, Zipcar is an established brand with established protocols. This was my first and last attempt with Mint and I will be canceling my membership with them.

Who's That Lady in the Ikea Commercials?!

2009-04-27T00:49:00.003-04:00

A random musing before bed

I LOVE the Ikea commercials...something about that lady playing a "stream of consciousness" that validates the person's thoughts is an awesome thing. My faves:

1. Sleep in - the gym will wait

2. Slam those cabinet doors - because your boss is an idiot

Sweet dreams world!!!! ;)